#i really need to get out of this funk here it's been consuming me for two days now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

topazy · 2 years ago

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Inside, outside

Pairings: 10k x reader, Addy Carver x sister reader

Warnings: Swearing

Chapter: 4.02

You stood listening intently as the leader of the base you were in explained that the convoy was long overdue and they needed to travel ten miles to find its location to gather the food and ammo they would need for everyone to survive travelling north.

“I am calling upon two able-bodied volunteers to join myself, Sergeant Czarnecki, and private Lilley on a search party to track down the convoy and help lead it to camp. It’s dangerous, but not acting is more dangerous.”

10k looks over at Doc, “We’ll go.”

Red looks up at him, her brown eyes wide with worry. 10k smiles and reassures her, “It’s okay. We’ll be back, I promise.”

The brunette didn’t look convinced. Her eyes narrow at you as you hug Doc and whisper something only he can hear. “Maybe we are getting some of the old him back.”

“I hope so, kid,” he says as he pats your back before approaching Sun Mei.

10k motions for you to follow him outside the tent. You follow him outside, and gaze up at him. “Another mission, huh?”

“Can't be any worse than operation bite mark,” he chuckles, cupping your face with his hand.

“I know.”

He holds your gaze before leaning down and kissing you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, which is something you haven’t done for a long time. The first year living in isolation was rough on 10k, and the feel of something brushing against the back of his neck would trigger him to have flashbacks of being bitten and living under Murphy's control.

He pulled his lips from yours when one of the officers said it was time to go, “I guess it’s time to go. Be safe. I love you.”

You kissed him once more, “I love you too.”

—

“Hey,” you say, turning to see Red standing behind you, looking uneasy.

You smile at her, “hi.”

“What are you doing in here?”

You'll notice her fingers twiddling with the edge of her large red scarf, something she only did when she was nervous. “Sun Mei said she needed more first aid kits made up, so I said I’d do it.” You place the rolled up bandages in your hands onto the counter, “I hope there’s not an accident until the others get back. They really are short on supplies here.”

“How were you so okay with 10k and Doc going? It’s so dangerous.”

“It’s dangerous everywhere, you shrug. At least this way they are busy; it’s better than sitting around waiting to get attacked or rescued.”

“You almost sound happy about it.”

You gave the brunette a glare. She didn’t get it. This was a chance for 10K to reconnect with his old self and hopefully get him out of his funk. ��10K is happiest when he’s with Doc. They have a special bond and always have each other’s back.”

“So you aren’t worried?”

“Of course I am!” you snap. “I’m always worried about them, about Addy, even though I don’t know if she’s alive or not. I worry about Sun Mei, Warren, and even you, despite the fact you’ve given me the cold shoulder for no reason.”

Red looked taken aback, “That’s what you really think?”

“That’s what happened. You just iced me out for no known fucking reason. You literally look like you're in pain whenever you're forced to talk to me.” You clench your jaw and ask the question that’s been playing on your mind for a while. “Do you have feelings for him?”

“What?”

“Do you have feelings for Tommy?” You ask, sounding hurt. “Is that why you stopped being my friend when we got engaged?”

Red stares at you blankly, and you take her silence as a yes. You turn your back on her and scoff, “If you’d just told me, things wouldn’t have had to be this way.”

Red grabs hold of your shoulder to stop you from leaving, “I don’t have feelings for 10k.”

“So, what exactly is your-”

You're cut off when the brunette presses her lips against yours. You freeze on the spot and are unable to move until she pulls away.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. 10k’s my friend and you guys are going to get married. I just.” You bite on your lip and stare down at the ground as guilt consumes you as she continues. “I didn’t mean to give you the cold shoulder; it was just hard for me to watch the two of you together when it’s you I have feelings for.”

“I, uh, I need to go.”

—

Without hesitation, you take off running into the woods, ignoring Red’s voice as she calls out to you. You stop running when you hear the familiar sound of a Z. You eye the different trees carefully and quickly climb the one that looks the most sturdy.

You lean against the trunk, trying to get comfortable with your gun on your lap while you wait for the Z to appear.

You couldn’t believe that you’d actually just run away from Red without saying anything to her after she kissed you and confessed to having feelings for you. You’d apologise the moment you returned to camp. You snorted out a laugh as the word coward crossed your mind. You wondered what choice words Vasquez would have had if he saw you act like that. Your eyes began to flutter shut as you waited it out.

You thought back to the first time Red kissed you, and how you’d laughed it off. You’d found a bottle of vodka while scavenging, and that night the three of you sat round a campfire telling stories, eating whatever animal that was hunted down that day. You and Red sat closely beside each other to share the poisonous alcohol while sitting across from you on a slightly higher ledge to keep watch.

You remembered it vividly when 10k said the first time he’d seen two people of the same gender kiss was Addy and Dana. Neither of you had expected Red to grip your chin lightly and kiss you. 10k had stared bewildered at the sight in front of him, while you just rolled with it as a woozy feeling took over you. When Red pulled away, all three of you burst into laughter, and it was never mentioned again.

You were jolted awake at the sound of voices close by. You muffled a groan as you sat forward. Sleeping in a tree was never comfortable, but yet you’d managed to doze off. You tense up as the voices seem to come from different directions. An eerie feeling filled the air, and you knew it was time to go back to camp.

—

“Sun! Sun Mei, wake up!”

Sun Mei let out a groan as you continued to shake her awake. She sat up looking annoyed. “What’s wrong?”

“Where is everyone?”

“What?”

“Everyone else is gone.”

She jumped up from the cot she was sleeping in and ran outside to look for herself. When you returned, the campsite looked like a ghost town. You checked every tent hoping to find people hiding, but aside from Sun Mei, who was sleeping in the medical tent, there was no one left.

Everyone who was missing belongings and all equipment were left in the same place, untouched. Even a lit cigarette was left behind, proving they must have gone just before you arrived.

“Where do you think they went?”

“I'm not sure, but I have to tell you something. When you were gone, Red spoke-”

“Oh shit, red!” You gasp, cutting her off. “Did you see her leave camp by any chance?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

She follows close behind you as you run into the tent you and 10k were sleeping in. Spotting your quiver and bow, you pick them both up and make your way towards the gate of camp.

“Where are you going?”

“To look for Red.”

“Wait!” Sun Mei steps in front of you, blocking your path. “You don’t even know that she’s out there, and what if whoever took them comes back?”

“You think someone took them?”

She nodded, “What else would have happened?”

You think back to the voices that caused you to leave the safety of the tree in the first place. “I heard people talking in the woods. They were voices I haven’t heard before.”

You clicked your tongue, trying to weigh up the possibility that the brunette attempted to follow you. You hoped she hadn’t, but you couldn’t rule it out.

“All right,” you pause, trying to figure out what to do next. Sun Mei frowns when you pull your gun from your belt and hand it to her. “You hide while I go look for Red. If I don’t find her in the next twenty minutes, I’ll right back and we’ll come up with a plan. Just stay safe until then. Hopefully the others will be back soon.”

She called out as you ran out of the gates of camp. You felt bad leaving Sun Mei to hide, but there was no way you were possibly leaving Red out on her own in danger.

#z nation #10k x you #10k x reader #inside outisde #z nation 10k #doc z nation #red z nation #Sun mei z nation #z nation fandom #z nation fanfiction #Tommy z nation #10k/oc #10k/you #10k/reader #z nation x reader

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spunky-89 · 3 years ago

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Sorrows, Storms, and... Silverware?

A/N: Here is the next part of the Domestic(ish) Life series. This one is a little sad like some of my more recent works because what I write reflects my mood and this was written when I was in a really rough spot and wished I had my boys to comfort me. It's not great, I feel like it's all over the place, but I hope maybe others who have felt this way might find a bit of comfort from it...

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Mental health, depression, bad brain day

WC:1688

Days were passing by faster than you could count. You and your boys had been living in relative bliss. There were some paps that got too nosy occasionally but other than that you were mostly left alone when you went out. Not that you went out all that often, the three of you could usually be found curled up on the couch together playing games or just existing together, you would be on your laptop doing work things, Steve would either be reading or drawing, and Bucky fluctuated between being on his phone, laptop, or reading. Even though it’d been almost two years since he was rescued, he was still very behind on pop culture, science, and obviously the massive advancements in technology.

You were having a rough day. It was one of those days where you each just existed in the same space. There wasn’t much talking to be heard, just the sounds of breathing and your keyboard clacking. The only issue was your focus was waning and your mind was muddled. This happened to you every now and then, but you were always able to get past the funk in a day or two. However, this had been going on for over a week and you were getting frustrated, which wasn’t helping your situation. Luckily, both boys had been busy and kind of oblivious to your struggle. You loved them but knew they would baby you if they found out you were struggling with your mental health. Despite being together for so long, neither of the boys knew how bad your mental health could get. But you had also never gone into a bad depressive state while they were around and you didn’t really like talking about it either. The last time you got like this was after Steve moved to DC.

You’d had really bad depression and anxiety when you were younger but between seeing a therapist and having some medication to help, you had all but overcome both. Sure you still got overly anxious faster than other people might, but it wasn’t too bad. And your depression was pretty easy to manage as long as you took your pills and didn’t dwell on the little stuff. But every now and then you’d have a flare-up where the depression just got a little worse and you had to fight your way through it for up to 2 weeks. Usually, it was only a few days though. When it occurred, your head would get foggy, you’d be exhausted all day no matter how much caffeine you consumed, you’d be unmotivated, and highly sensitive. Also very emotional. Not just sad emotional, like every emotion is multiplied by a thousand, including anger. This was to be your downfall.

After staring at the same blinking line for 10 minutes with no progress you huffed and slammed your laptop shut. This startled both boys who looked to you in confusion. You ignored their looks, got up from your place on the couch, and grabbed your phone before heading into your bedroom.

The two boys shared a look of concern before placing down their respective items and following you into the bedroom. They found you laying in bed on your back engrossed in something on your phone.

“You okay there doll?” Bucky asked, almost able to feel the frustration coming off you in waves.

“I’m fine, just need 10 minutes.” You said, your tone clipped.

This made the two men all the more suspicious. You never took that tone with them unless you were mad, which was almost never. Steve went to say something but before he could, Bucky was pushing him out of the room.

“She needs space, I don’t know about you but she seemed ready to snap and I don’t particularly want to be on the receiving end of that.” He explained once the two men settled back down on the couch.

This was just the first incident. Over the next few days, the boys started to notice your odd behavior. They were concerned but every time they brought it up you said you were fine and changed the conversation. They felt helpless and lost.

A new day began at 6 am with a crack of thunder and flash of lightning in the bedroom. The two boys had already been awake, as per usual, but you shot up with a start.

“Shhh, it’s okay. It’s just a storm,” Bucky murmured as he brought you closer to his chest. It took a short while but eventually, you fell back asleep. Steve scooted closer to you as well. He knew you had Astraphobia and sought physical contact as a form of comfort during storms. As awful as it sounded, the boys loved stormy days because you became very affectionate and clingy.

As the day went on, the boys were happy to keep you close and give you all their love and affection. However, they noticed something. You weren’t as clingy as usual and you just didn’t seem right to them. If anything, you seemed very… sad.

And you were. You were just having one of those days where you wanted to do nothing but stay curled in a ball under the blankets and cry about everything. Every little mishap or inconvenience was bringing you to the edge of a breakdown. And you knew that all the negative thoughts in your head were wrong and just a product of your mental illness, but sometimes you just weren't strong enough to shut the thoughts out.

You were wrapped up in blankets in bed just scrolling aimlessly on your phone when Steve popped his head into the bedroom.

"I'm heading out to grab some dinner, anything you want me to pick up while I'm out?" He asked. You just blinked at him for a minute before pursing your lips and looking away to try and avoid crying because your brain was giving you shit. You cleared your throat and tried to slap a haphazard 'I'm okay' face on.

"No, I think I'm good." You said, keeping your voice even as best you could. Unfortunately, he knew you too well to be deceived. His eyebrows furrowed as he approached the bed.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" He asked, voice soft answer laced with concern.

“Nothing?” You answered though it was framed as a question as you didn’t even know yourself.

“I would believe you if you weren’t crying,”

You sniffled and when Steve sat on the edge of the bed and pulled you into his arms, you lost it. Sobs tore from your throat as you clung to him. He pulled you tighter to him as he adjusted so you could sit comfortably in his lap. Not a moment later Bucky came flying in having heard you sobbing. He quickly joined Steve on the bed and put his arm around you as well.

You kept trying to talk to the two men to express your feelings but you couldn’t get a full sentence out, nor were you making any sense. The boys kept sharing panicked looks over your head. They had no idea what was going on or why you were crying. They felt helpless, and that’s a feeling neither enjoyed. Over the course of the hour, you had calmed enough to actually start talking without crying again. But you felt so drained, you didn’t even feel like talking. But you knew you needed to tell them something.

“You doing okay there sweetheart?” Bucky inquired after a few minutes of silence.

“Not really,” You mumbled.

“You wanna tell us what’s wrong?” Steve asked.

“Honestly, nothing really. Just…” You were struggling to come up with the words to explain your feelings. “Okay, let me do it this way, and it’s gonna sound weird but just go with it alright.” When the boys stayed silent you took a breath as you tried to remember how to phrase things properly.

“So you know the spoon thing I always talk about? Well, there’s another similar thing called the fork… theory? I think… Anyways it’s about how well you can keep it together so to speak. So basically, it’s a way to explain tolerance. Everyone can only handle being stabbed in the hand with so many forks at once. And the size can vary as can the amount. So like on a normal day, let’s say I can take 10 forks of regular size. So those are all the inconveniences like being late to work, burning dinner, or dealing with annoying people. But sometimes there’s bigger forks that consume 2 or 3 regular sized forks. So it varies you know. But lately not only have I been low on spoons, my fork count has been extremely low too. So every little thing feels catastrophic and it doesn’t take much to cause me to break down.”

The two men took a moment as they absorbed what you were saying.

“Was there something that caused you to be so low on both?” Steve asked.

“Uh, no, I don’t- I don’t think so.”

“You don’t sound very sure,” Bucky remarked.

“Well it’s hard you know, sometimes I just get like this.”

“What do you mean? I’ve never seen you like this before?” Steve asked, sounding confused.

“Just because you haven’t seen me like this doesn’t necessarily mean I haven’t had bad periods.” You mumbled.

“Wha-” Steve cut himself off as he digested this new information. “Why did you never say anything if you were this bad?” He asked.

You just shrugged, not really wanting to go into your issues of self-doubt.

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Bucky asked gently, sensing your discomfort about the line of questions Steve was asking.

“Nothing really, I have an appointment with my therapist on Thursday, hopefully, she’ll be able to help me unpack all my blehg and maybe see what caused it.” You provided, hoping to help quell some of their concerns.

“Right, well, in the meantime, when and if you need anything, and I do mean anything you can come to us okay?” Bucky proposed.

You nodded and snuggled deeper into your supersoldiers.

#Domestic(ish) Life #steve x reader x bucky #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #captain america x reader #winter solider x reader #angst #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #stucky x reader

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pretendingboyfriends · 4 years ago

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click here to add yourself to the taglist!

A/N: holy SHIT u guys the way i absolutely LOVE how this turned out,,,,, i REALLY hope u guys love it as much as i do and pls pls pls don’t be afraid to tell me ur favorite parts or give me suggestions for the next part!! and thank u miss tanya @sunflowers-styles for beta reading this part!!! ily mwah<3

Warnings: some explicit language & slight sexual innuendos

Word count: 5.9k+

fic masterlist

You gaze out into the crystal blue ocean as you drive along the beachfront, car window ajar allowing the salty, warm breeze to kiss your skin gently. The sun glimmers brightly in the sky, not a single cloud in sight and you feel as though nothing could possibly go wrong.

Deidre invited you on this beach trip as a last minute getaway. She knew you’d been having a bit of a hard time with your mental health recently, so she decided to rent a beach house for the two of you to try and help you get out of your “funk” as she called it. Two weeks of relaxation with nothing to worry about. Just lounging around in the warm sun with your best friend for 14 days. You simply couldn’t say no.

Seeing as Deidre has been your best friend for the majority of your lifetime, trips like these aren’t uncommon in the slightest. In fact, you’ve been on so many vacations with her and her family that you can’t even fathom going somewhere like this without her.

“Do you wanna stop and grab something to eat before we get to the house?” The sound of her voice draws you from your almost dazed state and you turn to look at her as she drives. Immediately at the mention of food, your stomach gurgles violently, loud enough for both of you to hear which causes you both to burst into a fit of laughter.

“I guess that answers your question better than anything.” You choke through laughter.

“Well then,” She giggles, “McDonald’s, here we come!”

The two of you purchase almost the entire McDonald’s menu and eat approximately 3/4ths of it in the car before you’re finally headed to the beach house with bloated tummies and quenched appetites.

Eventually, you’re pulling into the driveway of a small, teal beach house facing the ocean. The house is lifted on stilts due to its position near the ocean and the paint is slightly worn, chipping away on the wooden slats most likely due to past tropical storms. There are two sets of steps, both leading to a wrap around porch, one coming from the back of the house (where the pool is) and one leading directly to the front door. It’s quaint and homey and you love it.

When you’d initially pulled in, you hadn’t noticed the other car parked in the driveway, but now that you’re stepping out of Deidre’s car, your gaze falls directly onto the bright yellow Ferrari parked only a few feet away from you. There is only one person you know that owns that exact car.

“Oh! I forgot to mention, Harry is staying here too.”

You whip your head in Deidre’s direction, your jaw nearly dropping from its hinges. “Why didn’t you tell me that earlier??”

She shrugs casually as she swings the drivers door shut and walks around to the back. “I guess I forgot.” She presses a button on her keys and the back door slowly opens in front of her. “Plus, I didn’t think you’d mind, the two of you have always gotten along.”

“Deidre, that’s not why I’m upset-”

“Great, then what’s the problem?” She interrupts, eyebrows raised in question as she stares at you. You definitely aren’t one for violence, but the image of smacking her directly across the face flashes across your mind for a moment and you seriously consider doing it. “He’s just here to relax like us. And he’s paying for the place, so I couldn’t really say no.”

You let out an exasperated groan in response, slamming the passenger door shut and stomping around to the back of the car so that you can retrieve your own bags.

The truth is, you and Harry had gotten along in the past, which would give you no reason to be panicking right now, but something you hadn’t told Deidre was that for the entirety of your childhood, you were madly in love with him. Yes, he’s older than you by a few years, but that never stopped you from pining over him from the ripe age of six. You had watched the way he treated his two sisters and mother for so long and fell in love with his kindness and care for others. You used to daydream about the day he would realize his love for you, but of course Harry got famous and that day never came.

It’s been years since you’ve seen him in person. The last time you were in direct contact was nearly 4 years ago, a couple years after he went on The X Factor and was immediately consumed by fame. He was 18 at the time, visiting home during a little break, and you were having a sleepover with Deidre, but the length of your collision wasn’t very long. A few harmless words were exchanged during dinner and then you and Deidre had excused yourselves to continue your evening and that was it. Then, he was undeniably the most attractive boy you had ever seen and now, if it was even possible, he’d blossomed into a beautiful man, even more attractive than he was before.

As you begin to haul your bags out of the trunk, Harry appears at the top of the steps, screen door leading into the house flapping loudly behind him.

“Need some help with bags?” He calls, swiftly galloping down the wooden steps.

Deidre sighs in relief, “That’d be great, thanks Harry!”

His long, curly hair is pulled into a tight bun at the top of his head, a few stray curls framing his beautiful face. He smiles at you, dimples sinking deeply into his cheeks as he strides towards you, “Long time, no see,”

You feel the heat rising in your cheeks and you smile sheepishly, “Hi, Harry, how are you?”

“I’m pretty good! And yourself?” He asks, effortlessly tugging your large bag from the trunk of the car and slinging it over his shoulder.

You swallow thickly, struggling to keep your eyes off of his straining muscles through his thin t-shirt. “I’m uh- I’m good as well.”

“Glad to hear it, babe.” He winks and you watch as he takes a few smaller bags from the trunk, heading back up the stairs and through the front door, breathing out a shaky sigh before grabbing your remaining bag.

Deidre is already halfway up the stairs behind him when she calls back to you, “Can you close the trunk before coming up?”

You shoot her a quick thumbs up and drop the bags onto the cement driveway, lifting your arms above your head and slamming the large door shut before picking up the bags again and heading towards the stairs. You’re still quite stunned at what just happened and, frankly, you’re a little bit vexed with Deidre’s nonchalant way of sharing that Harry was going to be joining you on what was supposed to be a relaxing trip. Nevertheless, you’re forced to set your feelings aside and keep your mouth shut for fear of Deidre prying the truth out of you.

As you step into the house, screen door slamming behind you, you take a gander around the living area. It’s small and you can tell it hasn't been redecorated since at least 1985. Every piece of decor has some sort of relation to a beach (quite fitting considering where you are). Even the wallpaper is covered with small seashells and fish and it makes you chuckle. There’s an opening connected to the living area that leads directly to the kitchen, a second doorway that you assume leads to the bedrooms, and a large sliding glass door that leads to the back porch.

Deidre saunters out of the second doorway, “C’mon, let me show you our room!”

You frown, “Our room?”

“Yeah, there are only two bedrooms.”

“Oh,” You take a moment to breathe in, feeling your frustration building with every passing moment as you follow her into the small hallway. You pass the first door on your right, glancing inside to find the bathroom before moving on. The next door you pass is a bedroom decorated identically to the living room, a queen sized bed crammed into the corner with a quilt covered in clownfish and seaweed and the last door is another bedroom. This bedroom is painted a bright coral pink and the theme seems to be seashells due to the seashell print on the bed’s quilt and the framed seashells above the bed. This room, although similar to the first one, is a little bit larger and the bed rests directly in the middle of the room instead of it being crammed into the corner like the first one.

You step into the room after Deidre and toss your bags onto the floor next to the wall before throwing yourself onto the bed as you kick your shoes off. “I’m so ready to relax,”

She hums as she unzips her large bag and begins shoveling her clothes into the top drawer of the dresser across from the bed. “Me too,”

“I think I might go for a swim,” You turn over onto your back, lifting yourself up to sit on the edge of the bed as you look at her. “Wanna join me?”

“As soon as i finish unpacking, I will.”

You shoot her a quick thumbs up and shove yourself off of the bed and towards your bags. Harry had set your large bag of clothes right beside the door, so you fall to your knees and pull it towards you to search for your bathing suit.

“Go ask if Harry wants to come, too.” She adds, tossing her own bathing suit onto the bed.

You hate her. You want to strangle her. It’s like she knows. But of course, she doesn’t. You’d never told anyone about your little crush and you planned to keep it that way. Tucking the valuable information into the very back of your mind for the rest of eternity.

Without a word, you push yourself onto your feet and pad through the doorway, the thick carpet squishing softly beneath your bare feet. You’re hesitant to call for him at first, quietly wandering through the hallway, peering into the open doorways. Both rooms are empty, but there’s evidence of him sprawled across the bedroom. A large suitcase thrown haphazardly on the bed with clothes and shoes strewn all around it.

“Harry?” You continue walking, stepping out into the living room to find him lounging on the couch with the TV on in nothing but a pair of tight, black jeans, tattoos on full display. “Oh, there you are,” He looks up at you, a hint of mischief behind his virescent eyes. “Dee was wondering if you wanted to go for a swim with us.” it’s a statement, of course, but the wavering of your voice makes it sound like a question.

“I would,” He starts, sitting up a little and reaching for the TV remote to turn down the volume. “But it looks like it’s about to rain.”

You frown, turning to the sliding glass window to find that in the short amount of time it took for you to take your bags from the car and into the house, the sky had filled with dark, fluffy clouds.

“Shit.”

Thunder rumbles in the distance, droplets of rain mizzling against the windows and roof quietly as the three of you keep yourselves dry inside the beach house.

“Alright, we have Monopoly, Life, Scrabble, Cards Against Humanity, a deck of regular playing cards, Jenga, and a few puzzles.” Deidre lists as she shovels through the large chest beside the couch, labeled ‘Games’. “Which one sounds the most fun right now?”

You curl your feet underneath you on the couch and shrug, “A puzzle sounds nice.”

She nods, turning to Harry who’s making himself a sandwich in the kitchen. “Harry?”

“I agree with her on the puzzle.”

“Puzzle it is, then.” She concludes, grabbing the first puzzle her eyes land on and setting it on the wooden coffee table. Another fit of thunder causes the house to shiver and you sigh, silently cursing the rain for trapping you inside on the first day of vacation.

After Harry comes back into the living room and settles onto the couch beside you, Deidre sits on the other side of the coffee table and dumps the puzzle pieces out onto it. A show you’ve never heard of plays on the TV behind her and you glance up from the puzzle every now and then to watch it as the three of you sit in silence.

The entire evening Harry sits beside you, his arm gently nudging yours every time he reaches forward to move a puzzle piece. At first, you brush it off as an accident, barely acknowledging his presence, but when he takes it a step further and knocks a puzzle piece out of your hand, you glance in his direction to find him smiling smugly to himself. You shake your head, holding back a small smile as you return to the puzzle, finding a different piece and placing it where it belongs. Two can play at that game.

As Harry reaches for another piece, you quickly reach over his arm and snatch the piece he was aiming for, mumbling: “Ah, here it is! I was looking for this one.”

You can feel his gaze burning a hole into the side of your face as you hold back a laugh, a grin tugging at your lips.

“Was that necessary?” He hums thickly, keeping his gaze in your direction.

You shrug, placing the piece into its home. “I mean, that’s the point of building a puzzle, right? Finding each piece and where it goes...”

He smirks and shakes his head at you but doesn’t respond.

A few hours pass as the three of you work and soon, it’s dark outside and the rain has calmed to a light drizzle. Deidre yawns and stretches her arms above her head before glance at the time on her phone.

“I think I’m gonna head to bed, it’s pretty late and long drives always make me tired.” She says through another yawn and you nod.

“Me too,”

“Alright then, wimps,” Harry replies, “I guess I’ll just have to party by myself.”

Deidre looks at you and rolls her eyes dramatically as Harry chuckles to himself. You push yourself up from the couch, stretching your arms out above your head just like Deidre had done moments ago.

“Goodnight, Harry.” She hums, stepping around the coffee table to smack a quick kiss to his forehead before sauntering off to the bedroom. You glance behind you as you follow her, giving Harry a small wave.

“G’night,” He mumbles softly in response and you can feel his gaze on you as you step into the hallway. Part of you thinks that maybe, just maybe, he’s checking you out.

Warm droplets of water cascade down your bare skin as you step out of the shower, wrapping a soft towel around your body. You hum quietly to yourself, patting the towel against your skin to dry off as much as possible.

Just as you’ve finished drying yourself off, you realize you completely forgot to bring a clean change of clothes into the bathroom, so you’re just left with the dirty clothes you’d spent the entire day in. Cringing at the thought of putting the clothes back on, you decide to take your chances and slip out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around your form.

You gather the pile of clothes into your arms after taking a moment to moisturize and brush your teeth, stepping out into the dark hallway. Suddenly, just as you’re taking another step, Harry appears at the end of the hallway, crunching loudly with a bowl of cereal in hand. He’s clothed in a thin, grey t-shirt and plaid pajama pants, fluffy socks pulled onto his feet.

“Shit,” You gasp, eyes widening as you press the bundle of clothes to your chest harshly.

“Oh, hey,” Harry says mid chew.

You pause, “I didn’t think you’d be awake...”

He smiles sheepishly, “Yeah, uh, I got a little hungry.”

“I can see that,”

“I can make you a bowl if you’d like,” He offers, jutting a thumb behind his shoulder towards the kitchen.

“Harry-” You scoff, “I am quite literally standing naked in front of you right now.”

He shrugs, chuckling to himself as his eyes flit to the ground and then back up to you. “Was just trying to be polite.”

“Um- well, thanks, but I think I’m alright for now.”

“Alright,” He sighs, taking another bite from his spoon, “Goodnight, then.”

“‘Night.” You murmur, watching him strut past you towards his room. You wait until the door is closed before you scurry into your own room, finding Deidre fast asleep on her side of the bed.

Morning comes sooner than anticipated and soon, you’re dragging yourself out of bed as Deidre snores. You’re not expecting her to get out of bed anytime soon.

You trudge out into the kitchen with a yawn, finding Harry leaning against the countertop with his nose buried in a book. He’s in the same clothes from the night before, but instead of his hair being pulled back into a bun

“Good morning,” You smile, wrapping your arms around yourself as you step onto the cold tile.

He glances up from his book and smiles back, tucking a bookmark between the pages before setting it down on the countertop. “Mornin’. Coffee’s almost ready if you want some. I made enough for all of us.”

“Oh, great, thank you!”

“I went out to the shops earlier as well and got some of that coffee creamer you and Dee like,” He starts, pushing his large hand through his long, curly hair. “I know it’s been a bit since we last saw each other, but I know that she still likes it, so I assumed you do, too.”

A smile tugs at the corner of your lips as you take a clean mug from the dish rack lying beside the sink, “I actually do still like it, thank you.”

He shakes his head, “S’no problem, really.”

The coffee maker beeps twice to indicate that the coffee is finished brewing and Harry turns, reaching out for your mug. “May I?”

“Oh- yes, please,” You smile, allowing him to take the ceramic mug from your hand and pour the scalding liquid into the mug before gently placing it back into your hand. “Thanks.”

You walk to the fridge, swinging the door open to scavenge for the creamer he’d mentioned earlier. The carton catches your eye and you snatch it from the shelf, kicking the fridge door shut before setting the mug on the counter.

“Did I get the right kind?” Harry asks as you unscrew the cap.

“Yep!” You smile, pouring the cream into the dark coffee, causing the two to swirl together into a thick, hazel colored liquid. You find a small spoon in one of the many drawers lining the countertop and you drop it into the liquid, stirring it momentarily before tapping off the excess liquid and placing the spoon into the sink. Glancing back up at him, you take a careful sip from your mug to test the temperature.

“Good?” He asks, sipping from his own mug slowly.

“Great.” You confirm, taking a larger sip as you lean your hip against the counter.

The two of you sit in comfortable silence for a few long moments, sipping your coffee leisurely before Harry speaks.

“Do you-” He clears his throat, “Do you want to go sit out on the back deck with our coffee? The weather’s great and the view is phenomenal.”

He seems slightly more nervous than he had been the day before, most likely due to your brief run in that evening, but you don’t mind. “Yeah, that sounds nice!”

He nods towards the doorway with a smile, waiting for you to take the first step before following behind you through the sliding glass door. There are a few chairs settled around a small, round table, overlooking a breathtaking view of the beach where a few people are getting their morning jog in or just strolling leisurely along the shore. You slide yourself into the furthest chair, careful not to spill the hot coffee in your hand as you do so, watching Harry as he does the same.

You wonder why, if he was paying for the entire trip, he would choose such a cheap beach house in such a rural part of this particular beach. Seeing as he was a multi millionaire, you’d assume he would choose the most expensive place to stay in the most popular area, but that obviously isn’t the case. Not that you aren’t grateful for staying there for free, because you are, you’re just curious.

“So,” You begin, sipping your coffee for a moment before continuing. “How’s celebrity life treating you?”

He chuckles, pushing a hand through his luscious mane, “S’not bad. Been treatin’ me pretty well, I can’t complain.”

You nod, “That’s good, I’m glad to hear it.” Pausing for a moment, you curl your feet beneath you on the chair before speaking again. “Can I ask you something?”

He glances up from his coffee, raising his eyebrows with a nod, “Sure.”

You take a breath, aware of the intrusiveness of your question but speaking anyways. “Dee told me you’re paying for all this,” You motion to the house with your hands, “And I’m just wondering why you chose to come here and rent this house when you have the money for something much nicer in a much nicer area.”

He thinks about it for a moment, brows furrowed in thought before he lets out a breathy laugh. “Honestly, there are a few reasons,” He clears his throat and crosses one leg over the other. “The first one is that I’m able to avoid paparazzi, for the most part, because they don’t suspect that I’d ever stay in a place like this,” He explains, using his hands to animate. “And the second one is that I like to make things as normal as possible, especially when I’m spending time with Dee. I know she would absolutely love staying in some bougie mansion with its own private beach, but I just don’t want things to be different from when we were kids, you know? I’d rather her not have the image of me being a rich asshole in her head all the time. I just want her to see me as she always has; her big brother.”

Your heart flutters in your chest at his sentiment, the reminder of just how much he cares about his family causing certain feelings to come rushing back to you. “I- sorry, I know that was a weird question to ask... but yeah that makes sense. I didn’t really think of it that way.”

Just as you finish speaking, Deidre comes bursting wildly through the sliding glass door in her bathing suit and a large towel draped over her arm.

“IT’S BEACH TIME, FUCKERS!!” She screams, leaping down the stairs and bolting across the dock leading to the beach. Her bare feet kick up clouds of sand as she runs across the beach, dropping her towel carelessly as she gallops into the water.

You and Harry look at each other with wide eyes, both of you bursting into a fit of laughter at the same time. You open your mouth to speak, but Deidre beats you to it.

“COME ON GUYS!! IT FEELS GREAT!”

You look back at Harry again, snickering. “I think we should get out there.”

He hums, “I agree.”

You both lift yourselves out of the porch chairs, heading into the house to change into your own bathing suits. Harry, of course, offers to take your mug and clean it.

Around ten minutes pass before you’re finally in your bathing suit stepping out onto the sand with Harry following close behind. Deidre is laying out on the sand with an arm draped over her eyes as she waits for the two of you to arrive. Since it’s still morning, there’s a bit of a nippy breeze to the air, causing goosebumps to litter your skin and shiver to travel down your spine.

“Finally,” She breathes, pushing herself up from the towel. Harry comes up behind you and drops both of your towels onto the sand beside her along with his book from this morning.

“S’quite nice out, innit?” He hums, resting his hands against his hips. His hair is pulled back into a bun and he’s wearing the shortest bright yellow swim trunks you’ve ever seen and you can’t help but to giggle a little.

Deidre rolls her eyes, reaching forward and grasping your arm before dragging you with her towards the water. It’s around 10:00 am and there are a few more people on the beach than there were when you and Harry had first sat on the deck, so when you enter the water, you and Deidre aren’t the only ones there.

Though there are people on the beach, none of them seem to notice that Harry’s there. They’re all caught up in their own vacations, oblivious to the fact that a multi-millionaire celebrity is galloping into the ocean towards you like a child.

You and Deidre screech as he comes toppling into the water head first, cool water splashing around him and onto both of you. The small waves crash into your legs whilst you clamor through the water, Harry surfacing dramatically, completely soaked and absolutely gorgeous.

“It’s fucking freezing,” You mutter under your breath, wrapping your bare arms around yourself as you trudge deeper into the water.

“If you get wet, it won’t be as cold.” Harry retorts, adjusting the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose.

You shake your head at him, “You’re insane,”

Just as you speak those words, Deidre dunks herself completely under water, splashing you once again as she comes back to the surface.

Harry chuckles, “C’mon, you’re gonna get wet eventually.”

You ignore the subtle innuendo. “I have no intention of getting in further than here so if you really want me to go under, it’s gonna have to be done by force.”

He cocks an eyebrow from beneath his sunglasses. “Is that a challenge?”

“Don’t even think about it,” You breathe, glaring at him.

“You really shouldn’t have said that,” Deidre snickers as Harry begins to creep towards you slowly. His eyes are hidden beneath his sunglasses but you can tell his pupils are narrowed in directly on you.

You step back with every step he takes forward, small waves crashing into the backs of your thighs at the movement of the water. He lifts his arms slightly as he stalks toward you and you squeal, nearly stumbling backwards and toppling back into the cold water.

“Harry, I swear to god-” You start but you’re quickly interrupted by your own shriek as he tackles you into the water. It feels as though you’ve inhaled gallons of water from the impact once you resurface, sputtering and gasping dramatically. He doubles over with laughter and Deidre cackles a few feet away. You feel like a sad, wet dog standing in the ocean as they laugh at you and you cross your arms over your chest with a huff. “I hate both of you so much.”

Harry rolls his eyes, “Oh, come onnnn, it’s not that bad.”

“My nipples could do some serious damage right now,” You growl between chattering teeth and both of them giggle.

“Well, you’re wet now so there’s no point in not swimming with us.” Deidre shrugs, dipping back under as a wave rolls by.

You stand in silent rage for a few moments, glaring at Harry as he tries in vain not to let his eyes flicker down to your breasts. You don’t notice his eyeline wavering, though, too distracted by the brumal temperature of your body. A particularly nippy breeze attacks your damp skin and you whimper slapping your arms around your chest.

“I’m going back to the shore. It’s way too cold for this.” You huff, the water sloshing loudly as you begin to traipse back to the shore.

Harry watches you stumble back onto the soppy sand with a slight smirk on his pink lips and you can hear the low chuckle escape from his chest breathily. You counter his haughty chortle with a middle finger thrown up behind you, eyes trained in front of you to shield your view of him.

Once you reach the towels you’d set out earlier, you unfold your towel and wrap it around your shoulders before plopping your ass into the sand. The chattering of your teeth subsides after a few moments and you glance to your side to find the book Harry had been reading. Curiosity fills you and you reach over, lifting it from its spot on Harry’s towel and bringing it in front of you to examine it.

It’s a paperback, the cover an off-white cardstock with a simple design of a bleeding heart, impaled by an arrow on the front. The title reads “The Course of Love, a novel by Alain De Botton” and a smile tugs at the corner of your lips. You never would have assumed that he would be such a romantic.

You turn to the first chapter titled “Infatuations”, scanning it briefly and landing on the small, italicized paragraph in the middle that reads, “A marriage doesn’t begin with a proposal, or even an initial meeting. It begins far earlier, when the idea of love is born, and more specifically the dream of a soul mate.”

“Insightful.” You mutter to yourself, eyebrows raised in understanding before fanning the pages to scour the book further.

As you scan the blur of pages, you find that there are words scrawled all over the margins of the paper, words frantically underlined like they’d been scribbled whilst he was in a hurry. Your thumb lands approximately a fourth of the way into the book, a small photograph slipping from the spine and into your lap as you open it. It’s a photo of him, Deidre, Gemma (their older sister) and Anne (their mother) all cuddled up together on Anne’s couch with warm smiles on their faces. Their smiles are almost identical to each other as well as their features and, in a way, it comforts you.

You glance back up from the photo to the page of the book, your eyes immediately landing on an underlined sentence from the italicized section. It reads, “When two people belong together, there is simply--at long last--a wondrous reciprocal feeling that both parties see the world in precisely the same way.” You suck in a breath at the words for a moment but a sudden droplet of water landing on the page pulls you from your stupor.

“I see you’ve found my book,” Harry’s voice belows above you and you snap your head in his direction as he shakes his dripping wet hair.

You nestling the photo back into the spine of the book before shutting it and smiling up at him sheepishly. “Sorry, I- it was just sitting there and I got curious.”

“S’alright, I don’t mind,” He shrugs, reaching for his towel and wrapping it around himself. “What’d you think?”

“Oh- I only read a couple sentences,” You mutter, tightening the towel around yourself. “But from what I did read, it seemed quite insightful.”

“Oh, yeah?” He quirks an amused eyebrow at you.

“Yeah,” You chuckle, “Very elegant and sophisticated.”

“Mmm.” He hums, nodding his head in agreement.

Your bottom lip slips between your teeth to hold back a grin as you glance away from him towards the water. Your eyes land on a group of people standing around Deidre in the shallow water directly across from you. You frown, “What’s Dee gotten herself into?”

He takes a swig from the metal bottle of water he’d brought with him before speaking, “Made herself some new friends, I guess.”

You study them for a moment, watching her laugh heartily at one of the guys’ jokes and pursing your lips together. Wherever the two of you went, she was always capable of making friends. Her natural charm could sweep anyone off their feet and it endlessly left you feeling like an extra wheel. You know she doesn’t mean to leave you out of things, she never has any sort of malicious intent, but you’re both so different from each other that it constantly feels like you’re left in the dust.

You glance away from the group, looking back in Harry’s direction to distract yourself from the intrusive thoughts filling your mind.

“So, um, what’re your opinions on it?” You start again, clearing your throat quietly. “The book, I mean.”

He smiles as he skillfully tosses his sopping hair into a messy bun, “I like it. S’actually the second time I’ve read it.”

Your eyebrows quirk at that, “Really?”

He nods, tilting his body closer to you and bending one of his legs up against his chest. “Yeah.”

You laugh, “What do you expect from that?”

“What, like, do I expect it to change?” You nod silently in response and he shrugs. “I mean- no, it’s just… comforting, in a way.”

“Comforting,” You repeat to yourself. “I guess that makes sense.”

“It also kind of helps me retain the information better, you know?” He continues, mindlessly digging his fingers into the damp sand.

“Yeah, I understand,” You reply softly, “Do you do that with all the books you read?”

He nods, “More or less.”

There’s an abrupt screech, followed by a few animated giggles and both of you look up at the sound. Deidre is running towards the two of you happily, a wide smile spread across her face as she skids to a stop in front of you.

“I’m gonna go get lunch with these guys,” She chokes, out of breath from the short jog over. “Do either of you wanna come?”

You glance behind her at the group as they watch her for a moment and then you turn your head back to her. “You go ahead, I think I’ll just stay back here.”

Her expression falls a little and she sighs, turning to Harry with a hopeful look. He looks at you for a moment and then peers back up at her.

“Think m’gonna do the same. Have fun, though.” He smiles and you nod along with him.

She sighs again, reaching down and yanking her towel from the sand. “Alright, well, I’m gonna go change and then I’ll be heading out with them for a couple hours.”

You watch as she calls back to them that she’ll “be right back” before galloping back up to the house with her towel dragging behind her.

“You could’ve gone with them if you wanted to, you know,” You say quietly. “I’m alright by myself.”

He shakes his head, “No, no, s’not really my scene anyways.”

You stay silent after that, watching the repetitive roll of the waves in a mindless state. Deidre returns in a matter of minutes, a loose dress tossed over her bathing suit, her long, dark hair tied into a high ponytail fluttering behind her as she prances.

“See ya!” She calls after you.

“Be careful!” You call in response and then she’s gone, engulfed into the group just like she had been before.

AHHHHHF;LSFSDLFJAS;DLKFJSDFK PLS PLS PLS LET ME KNOW WHAT U THINKKKK <33333

taglist: @first-one-that-i-see @harryandthatgayvodka @summertimestyles @bopbopstyles @harrysclementines @emsthoughts @theresthingsthatwellneverknow @clorenafila @harries-gayvodka @dmcupcakexo @glitterwhore @harryspinkshoelace @lovemenowseemenever @happydays @sisters-of-the-mo0n @shut-up-and-smile @fallingslowlyforu @slytherinambitious @moonlightmaliksblog @cocoamoonmalfoy @harryspirate @sunflowers-styles @sunflower6why @harrys-bitch

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marjansmarwani · 4 years ago

Text

I’m far away, but I am right there

1.6k || ao3

While TK is fighting the wildfire Carlos does his best not to worry. Mostly, he fails. Fortunately for him, he has someone on his side too. ---- Missing moment (I'd like to think) from 2x03

A slightly belated gift for the wonderful @lonestarbabe! I originally was working on something completely different, but I wanted to give you something with some Mya. I hope you enjoy it 💕

Beta’d by @officereyes and title courtesy of @firefighterstrand

----------------

The weeks-long battle against the San Angelo fire continues at this hour, with officials now saying the blaze has consumed more than 180,000 acres with less than 5% containment.

They had the news on again.

Carlos did his best to ignore it, willing himself to focus solely on his paperwork and nothing else.

Response teams are exhausted, most of them having been in this fight for days now in dangerous and inhospitable conditions, grabbing what little rest they can, here on the front lines of this inferno.

But it was hard when all his brain wanted to do was worry about TK. His boyfriend was 200 miles from home on the front lines of the worst wildfire in Texas history, and tidbits of information like that were not helpful in lessening his worry.

At first he told himself it would be fine, it would just be a day or two before they’d have the fires under control. But as one day stretched into several and then became a week, it became harder with each passing breath to not focus solely on this fear. He wondered if this is how his past boyfriends had felt about his job. Secretly he doubted it; not because of the lack of risks, but because of their lack of investment. But if they had ever felt even an inkling of this, he was sorry he had put them through that.

Distantly someone made a smartass comment about the coverage and Carlos clenched his jaw in an effort to not bite their head off. He was writing with just a little bit more force than usual when the chair beside his desk was suddenly filled as his partner plopped down next to him, eyebrows raised: “you look like a walking tension headache.”

“With observation skills like that it’s a wonder you haven’t made detective yet.”

Mya raised an eyebrow at his tone and his words, “and so pleasant too.”

Carlos put down his pen and sighed, running a hand down his face before turning to face her, “I’m sorry, I’m just a little…”

“Tense? Worried? Acting like a dick?” Mya provided helpfully.

“Yes, yes, and I’m sorry,” Carlos replied, glancing over his shoulder at the news footage still running, “I just hate thinking about it. I hate that he’s facing that,” he gestured to news currently showing what seemed to be just acres of flames and a permanently smoke-filled sky, “and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Mya’s expression softened as she leaned closer, “I hate to break it to you Carlos, but you’re human. Those feelings come with the territory. Especially when you’re in love.”

That caught Carlos’s attention. He had returned to his paperwork, but now he faltered in his writing, pen pausing on the form he was filling out, freezing before he slowly looked up to meet his partner’s knowing and marginally smug expression. He shook his head, “I’m not...I never said…”

Now Mya scoffed, “Please. Like it’s not painfully obvious to everyone but the two of you.”

She looked at him expectantly, but Carlos was quiet after her words and her knowing grin shifted into a frown, “That’s not a bad thing, Carlos. You two love each other. In most universes, we call that a good thing.”

Carlos was quiet again before he turned to look at her, “yeah, I know.”

She waited but he didn’t elaborate. “And?” she prompted, “I feel like there’s a but.”

“But,” he agreed, “I just never really thought about it before, you know?”

She still looked puzzled but when he glanced at the news again, something seemed to click in her mind: “You’ve never said it to him.”

Carlos peeled his eyes away from the new footage to meet hers once again, “No,” he agreed quietly, “I haven’t.”

“And now you’re doing your pessimist thing and wondering if maybe you won’t have the chance now.”

“I am not a pessimist,” Carlos objected hotly before deflating, “but yes. I mean, Mya, he’s on the front lines of the worst wildfire in Texas history. And he’s an incredible danger magnet. I’m just…”

“Worried,” Mya finished, and Carlos nodded. “Got any advice for that?” he asked in what he hoped was a joking tone, but judging by her expression, he failed.

“Trust him.”

He looked at her sharply and she shrugged, “What? You two are the type of couple I use to remind myself love does exist and it’s not all a con by the wedding industry. I don’t really think the universe will pull you two apart just yet. TK is good at what he does, don’t forget that.”

“I know he is, but…”

Mya scowled at him and picked up one of the paperclips on his desk to flick at him. He swatted it away and gave her a look of indignation, “what was that for?”

“For being a pessimist again. Stop it. There’s no use dwelling on the worst. Have a little faith, Carlos.”

“I never thought I’d see the day when you’d be the one telling me off for being a pessimist.”

“Neither did I, but here we are. I don’t like it either, so you better get out of this funk ASAP.”

Carlos rolled his eyes but was distracted by the sound of his phone vibrating on his desk. Mya followed his gaze to it as he picked it up, “Is that him?”

He shook his head as he read the message, frown deepening, “no, it’s his mom.”

“You’re texting his mom? And you’re having doubts about your feelings for him?”

“I never said I was having doubts about my feelings,” Carlos countered, “and it’s practical. He doesn’t get a lot of time to make calls so we keep each other updated when one of us hears from him.”

“What does he have to say? Are they wrapping up?”

“No,” Carlos said grimly, setting down his phone, “his dad is missing in action.”

“What?”

“Apparently he was doing an aerial search and his helicopter went down, inside the active burn zone.”

“Shit.”

The two partners sat in silence for a few moments before Carlos finally asked the question echoing in his mind, “what are the chances TK doesn’t end up going after him, even though he was told to stand down?”

“Little to none.”

Carlos sighed, leaning forward and pinching the bridge of his nose, “that’s what I thought.”

“Hey,” Mya said bracingly, leaning forward, “don’t forget what we just said. Your boy’s smart and good at what he does. And he has something pretty special to come home to. He’s not going to do anything stupid. Well, nothing really stupid,” she amended when Carlos gave her a skeptical look, “he’s going to be fine, and back before you know it.”

“I hope you’re right,” Carlos replied quietly, “you have no idea how much I hope you’re right.”

Mya gave him a sad smile, leaning across his desk to place a comforting hand on his arm, “Lucky for you, I usually am.”

Despite everything, he smiled, “Yeah,” he agreed, “you usually are.”

“I am so glad to know you have finally admitted my brilliance,” she quipped with a grin, “but that also means you should believe me when I say that it’s going to be fine. You just need to believe in him, and trust him.”

Carlos was quiet again for a few moments before he responded, voice thick with emotion, “I do,” he told her, “I do believe in him and trust him. More than anyone else.”

“Then all that’s left for you to do is wait, and be ready to be there for him when he gets home.”

Carlos turned his head, glancing at the news coverage again. It still looked like hell on earth, and he still hated the thought of TK anywhere near it, but Mya was right. About so many things. He did love TK, and he intended to tell him. But that would have to wait for when he came home, and Carlos would be ready for him. For whatever he needed.

“Thank you,” he told Mya, “really.”

Mya smiled at him: a sweet and sincere thing. She rose from the chair beside his desk, squeezing his arm as she moved away, “Anything for you two. I’m rooting for you, you know. Can’t have my favorite couple falling apart on my watch.”

“Are you shipping us?”

“Who isn’t?”

With that, she turned to leave and Carlos called after her, “Just wait until you find that someone. I am never going to give you a moment of peace so you’ll know exactly how it feels.”

“That is a risk I am willing to take,” Mya called over her shoulder.

Carlos rolled his eyes at her, still smiling at her antics until his gaze caught the phone in his hand once again and he could feel the fear rise up again. He knew Mya was right, TK was good at what he did. That didn’t quell the fear; the enormous weight of knowing someone you loved was in need of help that you couldn’t provide. It made him feel helpless, and Carlos Reyes did not like feeling helpless.

Mya was right about something else too, he thought as he put his phone down and forced his focus back to the task at hand. His boyfriend would come back home. And when he did, he would need someone to lean on. Carlos fully intended to be that something, but until then he just needed to trust TK.

In so many ways trust and love were the same thing; so as long as he loved him, he could trust him too.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #911ls #carlos reyes #my writing #userkimmy #userac #userjilly #tuserpaige

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fi-chanwrites · 4 years ago

Text

Read at 19:00 Part II

Osamu x reader

Warnings : Angst. fluff. hurt/comfort

Wordcount: 1.7K

Part I

A/N: I know I’ve been gone for a while but I do be back boissss

You were broken, completely and utterly. Osamu was there to pick up the pieces once more, just like he always was. He found you on the floor, crumpled together, broken porcelain surrounding you, shattered on the ground just like your heart. You had texted him just before, telling him what you had sent to Atsumu so he made his way to your apartment, already sensing the heartbreak to come. He lifted you from the kitchen floor where you sat, he held you close to his chest as he cradled you through the sobs, his hand finding its way into your hair, massaging calming circles into your scalp, quietly shushing your tears. Osamu was always there, so why did you never see him?

He had dragged you to the table in the centre of the room, sitting you upright as best he could before he began banging around your kitchen. The only comfort he knew was food so maybe some onigiri would help you through this funk, he knew it was silly, as if food would make you forget his idiot brother, but he had to try, he couldn’t not try, he had to help you.

You didn’t say anything when he placed the plate in front of you. You didn’t say anything when he sat down next to you. You remained silent as the onigiri he made for you began to go cold. You said nothing as he raised the food to your mouth prompting you to take a bite. Your mouth moved to eat from Osamu’s hand but you still said nothing. You were silent, and you were broken.

Osamu managed to get you into the bathroom to shower, he tempted you with the promise of more onigiri waiting for you when you got out. He watched your phone light up with Atsumu’s name multiple times, and each instance he deleted the notification so you could have a few more hours without being disturbed by the heart break his brother brought in his wake.

It was two (2) whole hours later when you finally spoke up, your voice bringing so much joy to his ears, the sweet melody of your speech sounding like a sweet symphony to his ears.

“Thank you ‘Samu” You mumbled into his chest as he held onto you. “Thank you for always being here for me. I know we don’t say it to each other enough but I really appreciate you.”

He chuckles and just holds you tighter, laying a soft, sweet kiss onto the crown of your head.

“Ya know I’ve always got yer back.” He pauses for a second “There’s no one I’d rather be here for, it’s always you”

It took months for you to get back on your feet, but with Osamu as your crutch nothing could go wrong, but he knew deep down that that is all he would ever be, he would only ever be a support system. He would only be put into action when some other man broke your heart in a way he would never dare to do. He would never hurt you the way they did, but then again, he would never get the chance to as you would never be his.

Osamu checked on you almost every day for a month, making sure you were eating, taking care of yourself, showering, brushing your teeth. He wanted to make sure you were keeping yourself put together, making sure you were moving from your bed in the morning and getting yourself dressed. He wouldn’t let you fall into another depression. Not again. Not when his own DNA was the cause of it.

He loved you, he had admitted that much to himself, he honestly admitted it years ago, before he had even introduced you to his brother and the way you looked at him crushed him. He knew you were looking at Atsumu in the exact same way he looked at you. His heart sank, an overwhelming feeling of dread sinking into the bottom of his stomach. He wanted, no he needed you to look at him like that. He wanted that radiant smile that broke your face into halves to be directed at him but he knew deep down that that would never happen. He wanted to be the cause of your eternal happiness but he knew, with a heavy heart, that day would never come, he would never be the person who you woke up next to, he would never be the man that you clung onto when he came home in the evening, and he knew that you would never love him the way that he adored you, wholeheartedly and with no regard for the pain he was causing himself.

You didn’t know the turmoil that you were causing him, if you did you would have never even called him that day. You wouldn’t have reached for his hand, you would have wallowed on your own, that would’ve been better than watching your best friend pull himself apart slowly but surely in order to put you back together.

You didn’t really see Atsumu over the months and you were thankful for that, although his brother's face acted as a constant reminder of that day. You couldn’t look Osamu in the eye for days, when you looked at him your face contorted in pain, tears filled your eyes and fell down your cheeks, leaving tracks that stained your skin with salt. Everytime Osamu saw that look cross your face he felt a pang in his heart, he never wanted you to look at him like that ever again

However, as the months passed, as hours turned into days, that turned into months, your friendship with Osamu blossomed. It was like a sweet bloom on a spring day, he brought the sun into your life that dried away the morning dew. He brought a sweetness into your life that you knew you couldn’t find anywhere else. He was a bright blue sky, banishing the dark storm cloud that others had hung over your head, and, slowly but surely, you realised that you loved the feeling of that sweet spring sun. You wanted it to stay. You never wanted to live in a world where Osamu was no longer your spring. You needed him in ways you had never realised before, but now you knew.

You healed, the gash that had been torn into your heart had been stitched up by him. Your knight in shining armour, your saviour. Your Osamu.

“How’re you feeling today petal?” He asked, pulling you out of your reverie, pushing your thoughts back to the present. You sat up straighter in your seat at the table, clutching your tea even tighter in your hands. Knuckles turning white on the handle as you held it in a death grip.

“You know what?” You sighed contently “I’m feeling pretty good today ‘Samu.”

He smiled at that, excited to see a small smile break across your face for the first time in a while. He loved that smile more than words could say. Osamu looked at you that day, really looked at you, and he thought you had hung the stars. You had at least hung them in his universe, and at this point you were his universe.

“I’m glad to hear it, wouldn’t want it any other way.” His smile grew, his heart fluttering in his chest. He looked down, avoiding your eyes, missing the light blush that crossed your cheeks.

You sat across from each other in Onigiri Miya, your favourites laid out on a platter before you, a small pot of tea sat in the middle of the table stewing slowly as you spoke. You were both leant in close to one another, speaking lowly between the two (2) of you. The store was empty, you didn’t have to be that close to one another. You needed to be that close to one another. You both needed the other person more than words could describe, he needed you and you needed him but you were both blissfully unaware of the other person's feelings, continuing to sit close, to lean in, to whisper when more people walked into the store, to hold the other person’s hand over the table.

Osamu continued to be your rock, your everything, for as long as you needed, but like all good things, it had to come to an end. He couldn’t always be there, he couldn’t constantly be right next to you. Trying to stop you from slipping, washing your cuts if you fell.

He got busy, you got back into the swing of normal life, and slowly but surely you began to drift once more. You knew that he would be there if you needed him, something stopped you every time you went to reach out though. The pressing fear that you would just become a bother to him, that he would grow sick of you, that he would resent you

But like always, your knight in shining armour arrived, to save the day, to rescue you from the darkening blackness in your head, those all consuming thoughts that drove you right to the edge of sanity. All it took was one text and he was there. Right by your side, at your beck and call. Your best friend. Your Osamu had come once more to catch from the precipice, to cradle you, to love you, when you lacked any love for yourself.

All it took were those three words.

“I’m here petal” at the sound of his voice you broke once more, falling into his arms, feeling his form wrap around your own, taking you into him and supplying you with comfort as you cried.

“Osamu?” You asked, finally getting his attention, pulling his eyes to your own red, puffy, tear filled ones.

“Yeah petal?” he questioned, landing a small, soft kiss onto your forehead.

“I love you”

Taglist: @hajimies @airybnb @wheeshllumi

#miya osamu x reader #osamu x reader #miya osamu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x reader #Miya Atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader

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imlostinsantacarla · 5 years ago

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@beaming-ben: hey! i just wanted to say i’m enjoying your lost boys posts :) was wondering if i was able to make a request with Y/N (so others can enjoy it) x Marko? it would be where the reader is new to santa carla and they are at the boardwalk looking at the stores and stuff. Marko notices them who turns out to be his mate and he starts talking to them. the reader would be quite shy in this but eventually opens up and Marko would be really sweet to them. Thanks for your time :) x

(a/n: heya love, sorry that this took so long for me to get around to! i hope you enjoy what i’ve come up with, i really tried my best! thanks for your request as well. - admin kat 🌙❣)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Title: You Don’t Talk Much Do You? (Marko x Reader)

Summary: Moving out to the Murder Capitol of the World and into the home of your eccentric grandfather after a divorce between your parents has you longing for a night of fun. When your two brothers accompany you onto the infamous Boardwalk for the night, their teasing ways get under your skin and you feel the need to break away and cool off. Doing this means that you run into a particular blonde-haired boy that isn’t just trying to chat you up to win you over for the night, but for eternity.

Word Count: 2,269 (lmaoo 69)

Warnings: mentions of parents divorcing, angsty teenager stuff?, nothing else really.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Being new to Santa Carla had an overwhelming pressure as nighttime rolled around and the Boardwalk was filled with the static buzz of teenagers having a blast of a time whilst the flashing lights of the fair rides busily illuminated the night air. There was a charge of excitement in the atmosphere which had you practically bouncing on your heels, a grin spread wide across your face. It seemed as though it had been an eternity since you had even stared fun straight in the face.

Currently you were situated between your two brothers, Michael and Sam, whom were bickering like school children over the topic of Sam needing and not needing babysitters to accompany him.

“I’m not a kid any more, Mikey! I can find my own way around here no problem.” Sam sassed with an exasperated tone, total offense clouding his countenance as he looked up at his older brother indignantly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Michael rolled his eyes, giving a hasty shake of his head, “tell that to mom after you get lost for the fifth time today.”

“Hey! The first time was my fault but the other four were your terrible sense of direction. Right, y/n?” Sam blabbered enthusiastically, though his face was heating up due to embarrassment.

“Huh?” You hummed, eyes averting from the roller coaster and landing on Sam who seemed even more offended that you hadn’t exactly been paying any mind to his side of the argument, never mind Michael’s point. “Sorry, what did you two losers say?” You inquired with a quick scratch to the back of your neck.

Michael grinned silly at you before staring down at Sam. “Jesus, and I thought mom was bad.” to which Sam laughed at, their brotherly bickering having become a thing of the past and your fleeting attention span now the main focus.

“You’ve seen plenty of rides before, I don’t see what the big deal is, y/n!” Sam stated matter-of-factly, his bright eyes illuminated with mischief.

“Yeah, I know. But when was the last time us three got to have fun instead of being stuck between mom and dad arguing?” You sassed, a tint spreading across your cheeks. Your statement was nothing more than sincere. Being in between two parents going through a divorce was messy and heartbreaking for everyone involved, but it seemed to have taken it’s toll on you the most. You’d assumed the role of keeping what was left of your family intact, like human glue, and it was the most exhausting job you’d slid into for awhile now.

“Jeez you make it sound like you’re the one going through the divorce yourself.” Michael scoffed mockingly, no doubt attempting to get under your skin as he usually did.

“YoU mAkE iT sOuNd LiKe YoU’rE tHe OnE GoInG ThRoUgH tHe DiVoRcE yOuRsElF.” you did a pretty bad imitation of his voice, throwing your hands up in the air as you did so. “You sound like you don’t give a shit.” you spat, pushing past your older brother.

“Great! Now she’s gonna go tell mom you were an ass to her and probably blame me too!” You heard Sam practically shriek behind you. You didn’t care, you just felt like you needed to get away from them, they were practically suffocating you.

___

Parting from your brothers had lead you to only dig yourself deeper into your own thoughts. You went from store to store that littered the Boardwalk and scanned the shelves of them absentmindedly with a lot weighing down the theme of your train of thought. Moving away from Phoenix had been challenging for you, especially parting from your friends, and your parents going through their divorce was hard, - even if your mother had managed to do it with little mess -. The change of moving to another state made you almost weak with nausea. When summer was over you’d be going to a new school with new people and the thought alone made you want to spew. Making friends back in Phoenix had been challenging enough as it was...

You missed your friends desperately, you knew you were gonna miss your old school even once summer was over here. Everything here was daunting and weird. I mean, your Gramps didn’t even own a TV! He had Taxidermy swarming around his whole house. The thought of that beaver he’d given Sam sent shivers down your spine as though The Angel of Death were tickling it. You were genuinely living with a crazy old man and your somewhat dysfunctional family. The odds of enjoying your time here didn’t look so hot. I mean, you were living in the Murder Capital of the World.

The exhaustion you felt seemed to morph into sore legs from having walked around the pier several times. You’d even walked past your brothers ten times, ignoring them whenever they’d called on you. They knew that when you were in a bad mood to just let you walk it off in order to cool down. Besides, they were the ones who’d agitated you in the first place. The least they could do was give you time.

The whole intention of coming to the Boardwalk was to have fun, engage in excitement: You’d wanted to go on every ride you saw, eat till you were so full you’d spew and watch the live bands play. You hadn’t bagged on miserably idling around a comic book store until the two kids behind the register eyed you all funny till you left.

Now you were at one set of stairs that lead down to the actual sand of Santa Carla’s beach. Your eyes scanning the scene before you with dull eyes of envy. The moon was strikingly pale against the velvety black night sky, tiny specs of stars dancing to the music of the local teenagers guffawing and fooling around on the sand beneath. The waves of the ocean were a velvety black, the moon casting an eerie silvery glow onto it, it’s reflection warbled as the salty water lapped onto the sand and retreated. There wasn’t just total darkness, on the sand, where there were teenagers, there were also oil drums glowing orange with dancing flames in the center of the group, providing warmth and light to their shenanigans. There were hundreds of oil drums littered all over the beach, like small beacons of light attempting to break through the darkness of night.

A sense of desperation to join them left your stomach jumping and twisting apprehensively, making you miss Phoenix all the more. You’d do almost anything to get out of the funk you’d sunk into, even if that meant doing something stupid and getting yourself grounded for all eternity by your mother. You weren’t astray to rebelling against her in the past. She knew that plain as day, which is probably why she had told your brothers to head out with you.

You climbed halfway down the stairs until you sunk down onto them, deciding you didn’t have enough courage to just throw yourself into any one of the orange circles that scattered the beach. Anyone of those groups could be filled with nutters and weirdos. You weren’t looking to get yourself into anything you couldn’t get yourself out of. But you observed the people your age, maybe even a little older than you, dancing and singing, - clearly both drunk and/or high on something -, with curiosity.

“You just gonna watch all the action go down from here?” You heard a voice clear as day in your ear, causing you to jump straight out of your skin, a yelp being pulled from your throat. You whipped around to find a boy your age with the dumbest grin plastered straight on his face, like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. “Whoa! Easy.” His voice came out husky as he placed his hands up by his head, partially gloved, palms facing you.

You were stunned for what felt like seconds but stretched on for well over a couple of minutes. The guy was stunning, blond and wore the most peculiar jacket of gold and red that possessed patterns, faces, pictures... You weren’t even aware that you’d been staring till he chuckled again. “You know, you might wanna close your mouth before you drool everywhere.” He teased, his nimble and icy fingertips coming under your chin and forcing your mouth closed with a soft tap. He had his head tilted to the side, blue orbs penetrating yours like he was staring straight through your soul.

“O-Oh, s-sorry.” You cleared your throat, tearing your face away from him and looking out over the beach once more. You were grateful that it was dark where you were, so the blush that consumed your face now was well hidden, - at least you thought it was -.

“Nah, it’s all good. I’m not complaining.” You heard the grin forming on his face as he spoke. Suddenly the space on the step beside you was occupied and you could feel his gaze on your face now. “You new here? I haven’t seen you around before.” He inquired, leaning closer to you in a non-intrusive way. There was curiosity in his eyes as you met them.

“Yeah.” You hummed, nipping your bottom lip between your teeth. This felt odd, no guy, - especially this attractive -, had ever really spoken to you. You always thought it was because you weren’t attractive, but you knew the biggest part of it was because your older brother Michael (by one year) wouldn’t let any guy get within twenty feet of you. So the fact that this guy was sat here chatting to you made you wonder where in the hell Michael was at.

“Cool. Where’re you from?”

“Ph-Phoenix.” You muttered softly, eyes dipping down as you spoke. The way that he was looking at you made you feel a little unsettled.

“Cool, cool.” He mumbled, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, plucking a smoke out and placing it between his lips before lighting it. The flame from his lighter made it possible for you to fully see his face, which almost made your jaw slack open once again. He was definitely attractive. He laughed again. “What? You want one?” He offered the opened carton to you, to which you declined and he chuckled once more. “Alright. You’re not much of a talker are you?” He quipped humorously to which you felt your ears redden and you shook your head.

“I’m Marko, by the way.” He mumbled around his cigarette, puffing smoke in your direction.

“y/n” you smiled softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear as you watched him.

“Michael’s sister?” Marko inquired with a quirked brow.

“How’d you know that?” You were baffled and slightly terrified to say the least.

“Me and my buddies met your brother, we’re friends. He told us about you.” Marko clarified with a puff of smoke flowing from his lips as he spoke.

“That’s funny, he never mentioned you...” You hummed thoughtfully, “Oh God, what’d he tell you about me? That I’m a Monster Bitch from Hell?” You rolled your eyes indignantly.

“Somethin’ like that.” He simpered, eyes skimming up and down your body with interest as he spoke. “With the way he was describing you, I thought you’d look like a Demon of something.”

“I’m so gonna flatten him when I get home.” You muttered under your breath to which he laughed at. You turned to look at him once more with creased brows. “Then what do I look like to you?”

“Hot.” You laughed when he said that, shaking your head as you tipped it backwards. “I mean that in a non-demon kinda way.” He added.

“Well, that’s good I suppose.”

“You think so?” Boy he was a flirt, you could already tell. He was definitely funny also, which you liked. Funny guys were always more interesting to you. They were better than the hotheaded types, at least in your opinion they were.

“I dunno, would you prefer that I looked like one?”

“Nah, not really! I think you look great as you are.” He flashed his pearly whites at you with a confidence you’d never seen before and it spurred the pair of you into a conversation filled with flirtatious comments. You swore you’d never spoken to someone this much in your life - even with your very own family -.

Speaking with Marko seemed to flow naturally between the pair of you, which made your heart gallop a million miles per hour. However, even though he was nice to talk to, there was something about him that caused a spark of suspicion in you, like danger lurked around the corner if you continued to converse with him. But there was something else that was pulling you towards him, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on because you’d never felt this before. It was like a rope was tied across your midsection and Marko felt it too. The more either one of you resisted the tighter the pull felt, forcing you in his vicinity.

And sure, you’d talked to cute guys in the past before your brother intervened, and there was always a sense of giddiness in your gut as you did so. Yet it didn’t compare to the warmth that seemed to spread through your muscles as he inched closer and closer to you with each question and answer that flowed from both of your mouths. Something about this seemed natural and destined, like nothing could get in the way of or break it apart.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: open!

#marko #marko imagines #marko x reader #marko headcanons #the lost boys #the lost boys imagines #the lost boys x reader #the lost boys headcanons #the lost boys marko #the lost boys marko imagines #the lost boys marko headcanons #the lost boys marko x reader #hope you enjoyed it!#admin kat

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monggu-eomma · 4 years ago

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Found

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Soulmate!AU, angst, fluff

Word Count: 1.5k

Prompt: sun and moon

Warnings: None

Summary: Everyone was born with a red string of fate bestowed by the gods, except for you. At first it seemed unfair to be left without a soulmate, but you eventually came to terms with the cards that you had been dealt. Even if you didn’t have a soulmate, you could still love.

Author’s Note: I wasn’t expecting to write this, but life has a funny way of doing things. It hasn’t been easy to write lately because I am too consumed by Haikyuu and I’ve been in this really weird funk that I don’t know how to get through. This scenario is for the BGW Bingo Bash and I can now proudly proclaim “bingo!” © Found is copyright monggu-eomma. Do not re-post, modify, and/or translate this piece of writing without my permission.

“You know, you’re so lucky Hobi,” you said as you leaned your shoulder against your best friend’s shoulder. You sat together on the couch in his living room, mindlessly watching whatever was playing on the tv.

“And why am I so lucky?” He asked, looking at you with a playful glint in his eyes.

“Because you have a string,” you replied. Although you couldn’t see the red string wrapped around his left ring finger, you were still envious of what he had.

Hoseok was taken aback by your sudden statement. He rarely spoke to you about the red string of fate, as it was a sore subject for you. He could count on one hand the number of times that you had spoken to him about it and every conversation concerning the matter left you with tears welling in your eyes. You had always reassured him that you had accepted your fate, but Hoseok could see with each reassurance that you uttered that you were hurting. “They are so lucky to have you.”

“I guess,” Hobi replied and you were surprised, to say the least, by Hoseok’s indifference. “I’m not sure if they would be happy to have found me whenever we find each other,” Hoseok confessed. Hoseok had never shown a lot of enthusiasm for his soulmate and you figured that it was because he didn’t want to brag about having a soulmate. The lack of a red thread around your finger was a sore subject for you and Hoseok’s confession made you realize that you weren’t only one who struggled with the red string of fate.

Wrapping both of your hands around Hoseok’s right hand, you looked into his eyes. “You are amazing, Hobi. One day your string is going to lead you to your soulmate and I know that they will be happy and grateful to have you in their life. I may not have a string, but every day I am thankful because I have you.”

Tears gathered in Hoseok’s eyes at your words as he hugged you tightly. “I love you,” he mumbled with his lips against your hair.

“I love you, too,” you said in reply. It wasn’t uncommon for you and Hoseok to express your love for each other. You had known Hoseok for so long and it was only natural for you to love each other, even if it wasn’t the kind of love that was bound by the red string of fate.

After breaking away from the hug, you looked at your phone to check the time and sighed. “It’s late. I need to go home. I have a long day at work tomorrow,” you said with regret in your voice.

Hoseok nodded his head and smiled. “Text me when you get back home, so that I know you made it back safely,” he said.

“Of course!” You replied. Before you could stand up, Hoseok took your hand in his and pressed his lips against your forehead.

“Thank you,” he said.

You wanted to say that you should be the one thanking him for always being there for you and for being your friend, but you kept those thoughts to yourself. Instead you stood up and smiled at him. “I’m always here for you.”

As you made your way home, you thought only of Hoseok. He was such an amazing person and you couldn’t imagine your life without him. Although you had always known that one day that your friendship with him would diminish when he found his soulmate, you had long since decided that you were going to make the best of your time with him. The gods had left you to your own devices and it was up to you to make the best of your situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bringing your coat closer to your body, you waited at the bus station for the bus to come. It was a particularly cold Autumn night, the light from the full moon doing nothing to provide warmth. A cold shiver ran down your spin as a harsh cold wind blew orange and red leaves on the street. It had been a very long day at work and you were looking forward to coming home and making yourself a nice cup of tea to warm and calm your nerves.

As you waited for the bus to come, your thoughts drifted to your grandmother and the stories that she used to tell you. The story of the red string of fate stood out to you, especially since you had spoken about the red string of fate with Hoseok the previous night. The story spoke of the ancient Chinese gods tying an invisible red string around the fingers of those who were destined to meet each other in a certain situation or help each other in a certain way. The ancient deity that was in charge of the red string was said to be Yue Lao, the lunar matchmaker god. Your grandmother told you that the two people connected by the red string were destined to be lovers and partners for all of eternity, regardless of circumstances. She also told you that this red thread is what had brought your grandparents together and subsequently, your parents together. Although the story of the red string was supposed to excite you, it always left you feeling hopeless and alienated. You had never seen the red string of fate and you were certain that you would walk this life in loneliness. The lack of a red string had you feeling as though you were walking an interminable night.

The screeching of a large blue bus pulling in front of the bus stop brought you out of your lamentation. You quickly walked into the bus, scanning your bus pass and quickly scouting for a seat. Relief washed over you when you saw an unoccupied window seat and you walked over to claim that seat as yours. It was a nuisance, but you got car sick easily and you needed to sit, or stand, by a window whenever you were in a moving vehicle. Once you sat down, you pulled out your phone and earbuds to listen to music. You set the music setting on shuffle and let your playlist randomly choose songs for you to listen to. After the music started to play, you decided to scroll through your social media accounts on your phone and see what you had missed while you were at work. Your body jolted forward as the bus made another stop. The jolt was unexpected, especially considering that the bus had come to a gentle stop. As you pushed yourself upright, you noticed a red string tied around the ring finger of your left hand.

It can’t be, you thought to yourself. This must be a joke.

With gentle care, you touched the string to make sure you weren’t hallucinating. The thread felt soft and light. The string was even more beautiful as it was illuminated by light from the Moon. With a gentle tug on the string, you looked to see where it would lead to. Your gaze followed the whereabouts of the string, finding that it led to the front of the bus and that the string continued out of the bus. The tension of the red thread felt tight. It was now or never.

Quickly, with a sense of unspeakable urgency, you pressed one of the many buttons found in the bus to signal to the bus driver that you needed to get off the bus. You stashed your phone and earbuds back into your purse and swiftly exited the bus once it came to a full stop. Your gaze focused solely on the red string tied to your finger and you followed its path without giving any care to your surroundings. You had spent a long time telling yourself that you had accepted the gods leaving with you alone, but that lie held no truth to it.

With every step that you took, you tugged the red string towards your body as if to tell your soulmate, “Please, find me.”

You were so caught up in the stressful excitement of the idea of meeting your soulmate that you had failed to notice that you were about to bump into someone.

Oomph.

Looking up from the red thread that was connected to the person that you had bumped into, you found yourself briefly looking at their back. They quickly turned around to apologize, but the apology was caught in their throat as you tugged at the red string on your finger with enough force to bring your soulmate closer to you. He placed his hands on your waist, as he had done countless times before, and stared at you in awe. His smile was bright and reminded you of home. How could you have not seen this before? Looking back at your time with him, the signs had been so obvious. The countless late nights, the way your hand always seemed to find his, the whispered I-love-you’s. It all made sense.

The quiet moon that had plagued your life had been out-shined by a bright and warm sun for longer than you had realized. With or without the red string of fate, there was no doubt in your mind that you loved him.

“You found me,” Hobi smiled at you.

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jadelotusflower · 3 years ago

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June 2021 Roundup

It's been a month of highs and lows. Every year my city holds a cabaret festival, and I've seen some truly amazing acts over the years - including Lea Salonga, Kristin Chenoweth, and Indina Menzel. This year's Artistic Director was the great Alan Cumming, and although due to covid he didn't quite get to curate the program he wanted to, the opening night Gala was still a highlight, as was Alan's DJ set at the pop-up Club Cumming afterwards, where there was much singing at the top of my lungs and dancing to pop anthems and theatre tunes. At one point Alan, dressed in a onesie and perched on the shoulders of a man wearing only sparkly short shorts, was carried around the dance floor while Circle of Life blared. Reader, I was delighted.

I was also able to see his solo show Alan Cumming Is Not Acting His Age, which was hilarious and damn, he can sing!

As for the low, I was meant to fly to Sydney for the weekend to see Hamilton, a trip I have been looking forward to for almost a year, but had to be cancelled because of a covid outbreak and border closures. The tickets have been rescheduled, but I'm still kind of bummed about it (while completely appreciating the need for covid safety, especially when our vaccine rollout has been completely botched by our incompetent, corrupt federal government)

Anyway.

Reading

The Hundred and One Dalmations (Dodie Smith) - With all the bewilderment over Disney's Cruella, I decided to revisit the original novel which I first read as a kid. It's funny, I had very vivid memories of this book, or rather thought I did, particularly the scene where Roger and Anita have dinner at Cruella's house that fixed in my young mind as utterly disturbing with all this devil imagery and the implication Cruella was literally some kind of demon, which must have been either a) my overactive imagination or b) an illustration, because it's not as clear as I thought it was. The strangeness is there (food with too much pepper, Cruella's inability to keep warm, the walls painted blood red) but not the explicit demon imagery I had remembered. There is a part later in the book recounting the history of Hell Hall and the rumors of Cruella's ancestor streaking out of the place conjuring blue lightening, but clearly child me was reading far more into the book than was on the page.

But I still wish they'd gone with this version of Cruella's backstory, because to me an aristocratic, ink-drinking, heat-obsessed, possibly-demon spawn, high camp villain is more interesting and rings far more true than plucky punk against the establishment.

Smith clearly had Facts About Dalmations to share, and she does really craft a wonderful animal-based story that the Disney animated film is largely faithful to. Key differences include: Roger's occupation (he doesn't have to pay tax because he wiped out government debt somehow?!?), Pongo's mate and the puppy's mother is called Missis, Perdita is another dalmation who acts as a kind of doggie wet nurse, Roger and Anita both have Nannies who come to live with them (Nanny Butler and Nanny Cook), Cruella is married to a furrier (who changed his last name to de Vil). Also odd, on her first description Cruella is described as having "dark skin" but later in the novel her "white face" is mentioned, so I'm chalking it up to 50's descriptors not having the same meanings they do today.

The Duke and I (Julia Quinn) - After being just whelmed by the tv series, I wasn't really planning on reading the books, but I saw this on the top picks shelf at the library and damn, the top picks shelf is irresistible. This is very much Daphne's book (and I had known each in the series dealt with the different sibling) so many of the characters and much of the plot of the show is absent, as are some of the more baffling elements of the show like the Diamond of the First Water nonsense, which I always thought was a strange character choice in that it stacks the deck for Daphne when her character arc is better served as somewhat of an underdog (in her third season, the kind of girl who is liked but not adored), and the Prince subplot which was always far too OTT even for soapy regency romance.

It's a breezy, fun read (that scene excepted), even if the misunderstandings are contrived and I'm never going to take "I'll never have kids because I hate my dad" as a credible romantic obstacle deserving of so much angst.

Faeries (Brian Froud and Alan Lee) - A lovingly detailed and illustrated compendium of Faerie and its inhabitants, drawing from a range of European (but primarily Celtic) folklore and mythology. Froud was a conceptual designer on The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, and the link is clear in the art as well as the focus on faeries as mysterious but oftimes sinister beings, where human encounters with them rarely end well. Lee has illustrated several publications of Tolkien's novels, and was a lead concept artists for Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies, and there is a touch of Middle Earth here as well, or rather the common inspiration of the old world. A useful resource for my novel!

Watching

The Handmaid's Tale (season 4, episodes 4-8) SPOILERS - So when I last wrote about this show in the Roundup, I was complaining it wasn't going anywhere. Well, I'm happy to be wrong because they finally changed things up with June finally escaping to Canada. That part of the plot following the survivors and their trauma has always been far more compelling than Gilead, and so it was a welcome development even if I side-eye some of the choices (none of these characters is seeing an actual licensed therapist why?).

This show has always been difficult to watch given the subject matter, and that has not changed after the shift in power dynamics. I will give the show credit for showing a broad range of trauma responses, from Moira wanting to move on and not let it consume her, to June, a ball of rage and revenge on a downward spiral, to Emily, trying to follow Moira's path but being drawn to June's, to Luke, trying his best but utterly unequipped to deal with what is happening.

But it is very hard to watch June go down this path - raping her husband (I concede the show perhaps didn't intend for it to be rape, but that's what is on screen and framing it as just "taking away Luke's agency" doesn't change that), wishing death on Serena's unborn child, and orchestrating Fred's brutal murder by particulation, then holding her own daughter still covered in his blood and it getting smeared on Nicole's face (an unsubtle metaphor in a series full of unsubtle metaphors).

There are interesting questions being asked of the viewer, and the show (perhaps rightly) not giving any answers. I can certainly appreciate the catharsis of Fred getting what he deserves even if I personally find the manner of it horrifying, but where is the line between justice and revenge, is revenge the only option when justice is denied, when does a trauma release become cyclical violence/abuse - the show is, for now, letting the viewer decide.

Soul (dir. Pete Docter and Kemp Powers) - In a world full of remakes/reboots/sequels, Pixar is perhaps the lone segment under the Disney umbrella committed to original content. However, there does seem to be a Pixar formula at work directed to precision tugging the heart strings, and some of the film feels like well-trod ground. On the other hand, it's hard to criticise the risk of centering a kids film around the existential crisis of a middle aged man, even with the requisite cutesy elements (and of course, the uncomfortable pattern of yet another film where the black lead character spends a great deal of the runtime in non-human form - herein, an amorphous blob or a cat). But the animation is stunning, it successfully did tug my heart strings, and the design of the Great Before and the Jerrys is original and fun.

RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under - Drag Race is somewhat of a guilty pleasure for me, since I generally don't watch reality shows, and this is something I really enjoy even if I'm not invested in the fandom (which like many fandoms can be very yikes). This year it was time for the Australian/New Zealand (Aotearoa) queens to show their stuff, although it's been met with mixed reactions. Covid restrictions didn't allow for guest judges, relegating them to mere cameos via video calls, and its clear that Ru and Michelle really don't quite get all the cultural nuances - Aussie judge Rhys Nicholson was however always delightful. But it wouldn't be Australia without a racism scandal, with the great disappointment of the two queens of colour eliminated first, and one queen having done blackface in the recent past yet making it all the way to the top four.

In the end, the only viable and deserving winner was last Kiwi standing Kita Mean, and it was pure joy to see her get crowned. I do hope they fix the bugs and indeed do another season to better showcase AU/NZ talent.

Writing

A far more productive month - to try and get out of my writing funk I had a goal to try and write every day, even if it was only 100 words. While I didn't quite achieve a consecutive month, I did get a pretty good average, at least got something posted and two others nearly there.

The Lady of the Lake - 2441 words, Chapter 4 posted.

Against the Dying of the Light - 2745 words

Turn Your Face to the Sun - 1752 words.

Here I Go Again - 1144 words

Total words this month: 8082

Total words this year: 35,551

#personal #long post #roundup #june roundup #reading watching writing #here's to the second half of the year #I really want to get to at least 100k written #so we'll see

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yoongi-sugaglider · 4 years ago

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Forget Me Nots- Epilogue

A wealthy young man falls overboard while vacationing with friends only to find himself with amnesia and a pretty young wife who seems determined to remind him what hard work and dedication really mean.

Warnings: Strong language, angry Min Yoongi inaccurately portrayed based upon the writer’s imagination,angst, eventual super fluff.

Pairing: Eventual Min Yoongi x reader

Word count: 3021

A/n: Well...this is the end my lovelies~ I am honestly so full of emotions right now I can’t even begin to sort through how I’m feeling lol. Sad because it’s over? Joyful because I’m happy with the ending. Excited to see everyone’s reactions. Yes to all of that~ I wanna thank @btsstan4life and @min-newt for lending themselves as characters to the story. To my new network @castlebangtan and the lovely bunch of angels that so graciously gave me the support I needed to push through the feels and finally get this out there. To my daughter for being the amazing sweetheart and always supporting my stories by asking me to read them to her at night. And to you, the person reading this right now? Thank you for the journey, thank you for the support and kind words. The likes and reblogs boost my confidence and allow me the motivation to push forward. To y/n and Yoongi, I know this was a tough journey, but the end is finally here. I wish you both happiness and joy and I hope you can find peace in the ending I’ve written for you. Thank you for allowing me to tell your story and...good bye~

<<Chapter 10

As the sound of the ambulance’s siren disappeared into the distance the woman found herself sitting on the floor. Back pressed into the cool wood of the front door her eyes stared listlessly into the distance, mind empty and yet so very full of the pain and devastation that was their last conversation.

“You let me fall in love with you!”

His final words before his collapse rang through the house, filling it with a weight that no amount of crying could have chased away.

Her two pups pressed in close to her, each seeking to give their owner some sort of comfort in the numb grief she found herself wrapped within. Champ pressed into her side, nose nudging her cheek occasionally as Kaia curled the entirety of her upper body on her lap. The woman’s fingers mindlessly combed through Kaia’s silky fur, head leaning into Champ’s shoulder as the first sob slipped free.

“Guys...I fucked up…” She hiccupped, tears finally spilling down her cheeks as she burried her face into Champ’s chest. The shepherd licked at her temple, a tiny whine escaping him as he sought to comfort his owner in the best way he could.

She couldn’t understand where this grief was coming from. Him remembering his past should have come as a relief. Right?

She’d no longer have to worry about how to break the news to him, what to do about the strange man that’d come to live in her house for the past week. Never again have to think about the soft secret smiles he gave the dogs as he sat curled into the sofa, fingers tracing shapes in their fur as they watched the sun set out the window.

Not have to worry about the scent of sandalwood that seemed etched into his skin that would waft up every time he passed by her. Or the strange butterflies that danced in her belly when she’d wake up to the scent of breakfast and coffee each morning.

Her sobs grew louder, inconsolable as the anguish that tormented her heart grew in size, consuming her soul with her realization.

“Oh god...I fell in love with him.”

***

The sterile scent of hospital served as a solid reminder and wake up call as she made her way to the front desk in search of her husb...in search of Yoongi.

The nurse pointed her in the direction of his room and she swallowed harshly, fingers digging crescents into her palms as she hefted the bag of belongings she’d gathered to return to him.

Standing before the hospital room door she steeled herself, unsure of what to expect but knowing it was possible that she’d get turned away immediately. But this was something she had to do. At least that’s what she’d said to convince herself. She knew she didn’t stand a chance in earning or even begging for forgiveness. But she could only hope that she’d get the chance to say good bye.

“Miss you can’t be here. This is a private room.” A sharply dressed man approached her, dark sunglasses hiding the obvious gaze of what could only be a security guard.

“I umm...I was just returning his…”

“You should leave. Access to this room is forbidden.” His stern tone left no room for argument and she ducked her head in acknowledgement.

Dashing away she paused at the nurse’s station, making a quick and wavering request that the belongings be returned to the man she knew she’d never see again.

*** “Y/n, can I speak to you in my office please?”

She glanced up from her paperwork, flashing her boss a soft smile before shuffling the paperwork to the side and standing to follow him.

“Something the matter Troy?” She asked as she closed the office door behind her.

“Ah, nah. Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to let you know that the company responsible for the wrecked carpet cleaner paid to have the machine replaced. So you don’t have to worry it.”

She frowned, eyes wandering to the window overlooking the dock full of ships outside. “Did you ask them to or…”

“They actually reached out. When they returned the Veloce it was actually really clean so I wasn’t sure that we’d hear from them after outside of a review but ah…” He glanced down at a sticky note, squinting at his own handwriting before smiling up at her. “A Namjoon called, said he wanted to apologize to you for all the trouble and to thank you for everything you did to help.”

A mental image of smiling dimple filled cheeks flashed across her mind and she smiled sadly, nodding to Troy before leaving the office to return to work.

“I...guess it’s all over now huh?”

*** “So you’re telling me it took you six months to finally hire a new dishwasher?”

Rose grinned, digging into her burger as she nodded in reply to Devani’s question.

“Yeah, and the new kid is a hell of a worker too! Kind of cute. Right up your alley chicka.” She snorted at the blush rising up the girl’s cheeks. “It was damn near impossible to find a new hire after Yoon...ah... after the last guy quit the way he did.”

Rose’s panicked gaze darted to y/n, though the woman seemed lost in her own thoughts and wasn’t much paying attention to the conversation between her two best friends. Her dull gaze wandered their favorite coffee shop, listlessly wandering from face to face as if she was fruitlessly caught in a subconscious search for someone that wasn’t there.

“Hey...you with us y/n?” Devani chirped up, giving her a sad smile as the dazed woman’s gaze returned to their table.

“Hmm?” Her fork moved for the first time since the salad had been placed before her, though it just picked mindlessly at the leafy meal as her focus struggled to take in the concerned faces before her.

“You’re stuck again love.” Rose said quietly, lips turning down into a frown as she watched her heartbroken friend give her an empty smile.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” She quietly hummed, reaching forward to take a sip from her now lukewarm cup of coffee.

The friends sat in silence for a while, allowing the world to revolve and pass around them as they each sat in their own little worlds of quiet contemplation.

A notification dinged on Devani’s phone, causing the girl to perk up with a grin as she swiped it open and eagerly read the email she’d just received.

“Ah! Oh my god I got them!” She squealed, hugging the phone to her chest and bouncing in her seat with all of the energy of a puppy given its first ball.

“What? Dude chill.” Rose giggled, reaching out to calm her friend with a warm grip to her arm.

“The VIP tickets I entered that contest for last week!” Devani grinned, turning the phone screen to Rose to reveal its secrets. “They just sent me an email letting me know I won!”

“No way that’s great!” Y/n grinned, the festive atmosphere snapping her out of her funk in favor of celebrating her friend’s good fortune.

“How many did you get?” Rose asked, leaning back into her seat and tapping her fingers absentmindedly on the table top.

Devani flipped the phone back around, eyes darting to and fro as she scanned the email’s contents. “Hmm...3 tickets. No way that’s freaking perfect!” She looked up at the women excitedly, her eyes practically sparkling in the brightness of the cafe’s lights. “You guys will come with me right? It won’t be the same without you!”

Rose nodded eagerly, grin bright and on display until she turned to see y/n’s frown darkening the mood slightly.

“I don’t know guys… I don’t think I’d be up for it….”

“No way! We’re not letting you miss this! It’s been ages since we had a girl’s night out and we refuse to go without you.” Rose glanced over to Dev, glaring at her dejected look for a moment and then grinning in triumph as it turned instantly to a look of determination.

“Rose is right. All for one and one for all.” She shook her head at the older woman’s protests. “No we’re all going together or not at all.”

“But you worked so hard to get those tickets. You can’t just not go Devi!” she tried hard to protest, stammering out her opposition to the idea.

But the girls were unrelenting, insisting over and over until they’d worn the woman down into going.

The three giggled, making plans quickly and allowing the excitement to flow through them at the prospect of the concert awaiting them that coming weekend.

Perhaps this was just what she needed to pull her out of that cloud of funk after all.

***

“Hyung! We’re on in an hour. Have you got the new battery pack for your in-ear?” Jimin’s sweet voice cut through the brooding Yoongi’s chaotic thoughts, snapping him back to reality.

Nodding at Jimin’s words he stood from the hairstylist’s chair, brushing at the blue jeans and brightly colored shirt that was the stage outfit for their first song of the night. It hadn’t taken much for him to regain his memories, thoughts that’d remained locked away and dreams that at some point in the week he’d spent questioning his existence had disappeared all at once came flooding back in that one final argument.

And yet here he stood, returned to his life as an idol and thrust back into the spotlight like nothing had ever happened but unable to put a name to the emotion that’d sat heavy in his chest since the day he’d been released from the hospital only to realize he might never see that soft smiling face again.

“Yoongi-ssi, they’re letting the VIP’s back for a few minutes before they get sat. Did you want to go say hi before you go out?” His manager looked up from the tablet with their schedule, holding Yoongi’s gaze for a moment before nodding and tapping out a quick message.

“I’ll let them know you’re on the way.”

The room cleared out, leaving him alone with his thoughts as he continued to stare at the reflection judging him in the mirror.

He’d changed a bit since the incident. Long gone was the minty green hair he’d sported, replaced in favor of a silvery grey number that was slowly growing on him. He’d gained back some of the weight he’d lost when the stress had been eating at him from an upcoming album release that’d gone far better than he’d expected. All in all he felt better, healthier, content with his standing in life where before he’d just felt frustration and rage against the things he couldn’t change. And yet something still felt like it was missing. A certain emptiness in his soul that seemed like it was waiting to be filled. With what he just couldn’t be sure.

Turning away from the mirror and dismissing the thoughts he left the room, entering the bustle of the corridors post concert and making his way to the meeting room his manager had set aside for the VIPs to meet with him and his band mates.

The room was filled with sound, a cacophony of cheer and joy. Fans meeting their idols and idols enamored with the tales and thanks that came with meeting their supporters.

Namjoon walked over to him, grin splitting his face from ear to ear as he clapped Yoongi on the shoulder.

“Don’t look so glum hyung. There’s someone here waiting for you. I think she’s got some things she’s been waiting to say to you.”

The cryptic words left Yoongi feeling confused, and somehow apprehensive as he walked deeper into the room. A few young women stopped him, crowding in to give him praise over his latest solo song as young men hung back with shy grins echoing the joy the far bolder sex seemed so eager and willing to share with him.

His idol smile set in place, a kind and soft affair that always seemed to either placate his fans or rile them up depending on the context. His manager handed him a silver sharpie, giving the fans the go ahead to hand him their albums and shirts to be signed with all the flourish of a practiced celebrity. Yoongi made quick work of them, assuring the chittering ARMY that he appreciated their support and loved them wholeheartedly.

Eventually those around him moved on, spotting one or another of the members that’d chosen to enter the room at that time. Attention drifted away from him, giving him a moment of respite that he capitalized on by moving to the refreshment table in search of a water bottle to quench his sudden thirst.

As he reached for one of the label free bottles a tiny hand darted out, touching the bottle just as his own wrapped around the dainty wrist. He froze, a chill of fear and excitement rushing through his veins at the sight.

He knew that hand, those work worn fingers that trembled beneath his grip. His eyes trailed up the sun kissed skin of her arm, eyes meeting her own fear filled ones as his grip tightened.

“Yoongi…” She gasped, eyes filled with a number of emotions and the growing sparkling of tears.

As they held each others gazes, unbeknownst to them the managers began clearing the room on Namjoon’s orders, emptying it for the two to have a private moment to themselves. Y/n friends watched, grins spreading wide as Namjoon led them to the door.

“Finally!” The trio whispered in unison, sharing giggles and chatting away as the door was closed behind them.

“You came.”

“You’re here.”

They spoke together, each refusing to acknowledge the heat rising to their cheeks as Yoongi finally released her wrist and cleared his throat to fill the following awkward silence.

“I um… I didn’t realize that this was your concert.” She wrapped her arms around her stomach, shuffling her feet as she focused her eyes on a scuff mark on the floor in front of him.

“When I saw Namjoon and the others I well...I tried to leave but they wouldn’t let me…”

Yoongi watched her, eyes taking in her anxious form as he listened to her ramble on.

“Why would you leave?” He asked.

Her gaze snapped to him, eyes wide with fear as she fumbled for her next words.

“I, well I mean… I didn’t think you’d want to see me. Especially after I...after everything.”

“After you lied to me?” She nodded at his words and opened her mouth to reply but he refused, continuing on as he began listing off what was on his mind.

“After you took care of me? Giving me food and shelter and comfort when the absolutely terrifying moment of losing my memory to an assault happened? Allowing me to live in a fantasy that involved giving me more care and love than anyone ever has in my entire life?”

He stepped forward, crowding her with his presence as he stared down at her with all of the heat and passion that had been building within him over the past few months since he’d been away from her.

“You gave me the break I needed y/n. A peaceful existence that I never thought I could have in this messed up stressful life that is the idol world.” He reached out, hands coming up to caress her trembling arms as he moved impossibly closer.

“Do you have any idea how often I’ve thought about you since I left? How much I regret what I said? How much I hate myself for hurting you the way I did after everything you did for me?”

She inhaled sharply, the scent of sandalwood and male musk that was so uniquely his flooding her senses and filling her with an impossible hope that she hadn’t thought possible.

“I just...I lied to you Yoongi. How could you...how could you ever forgive me?” She choked on the words, sobs spilling forth as she buried her face in his chest.

His heart broke, seeing first hand the impact his callous words had had on the sweetest person he’d ever met in his life.

“Forgive you? If anything I’m the one that should be begging your forgiveness.” He wrapped his arms around her, clinging tightly to her as he buried his face in the warmth of her hair and inhaled deeply.

“I love you y/n. Honestly and truly. When I thought I’d never see you again it hurt. I couldn’t breath from the thought of losing you, of never seeing that sweet smiling face. Of coming home to see those goofy dogs of yours greeting me every day and knowing that I had finally...finally come home.” He kissed the top of her head before stepping back and crouching slightly to gaze into her tear streaked face.

“Could you ever forgive me angel? Please, I’m begging you. Let’s start over huh? Do this right.”

Her breath caught in her throat. The look of pure remorse and adoration that he was giving her was all she could ever ask for.

“Of course Yoongi.” She nodded emphatically, launching herself into his arms once more. “Of course I can forgive you. I...I love you too Yoongi.”

Their lips met, soft and desperate and perhaps a tiny bit awkward as teeth clashed and tongues fought to find their rhythm. But slowly they calmed, finding a balance in the rush of love that flowed through them as they inhaled each other. Breaking apart they grinned at each other, one lost and finally found and the other saved and saved again as they met once more in a passionate kiss that filled each of them with a sense that yes, they could finally be happy in each other’s arms.

As her tiny forget me not earrings flashed in the light of the waiting room they knew they were finally home.

#castle bangtan #yoongi x reader #min yoongi x reader #bts min yoongi #bangtan suga #suga amnesia #yoongi amnesia #yoongi amnesia au #yoongi imagine #bts imagine #yoongi fluff #bts fluff #bts x reader insert #yoongi x reader insert #bts fanfiction #yoongi fanfiction #my writing

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nickysurfer28 · 5 years ago

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Summary: Desire and temptation take over like never before. Is it too much to handle, or not enough?

Warning ⚠️: 18+ adults only

Word count: over 1k

Characters: Dr.Nicky Ransom (female reader,you,etc.)x Chris Evans,Denise Ames (Cousin), Tim ( Denise boyfriend), clones, evil twin look-a-like (aka Adrian pretending to be Chris)

Chapter 11:

*dream sequence *

You look between Chris and his copy.

“This is...weird. I know this is a dream, but Whoa.” Nicky answered in shock.

They both chuckle.

“I can make more, Nicky.” Chris answered.

“You...you can?” Nicky answered startled.

“I can.” Chris answered.

He draws nearer to you,placing a soft,promising kiss on your lips. His clone comes up behind you and plants a soft kiss on the back of your neck.

“H-how many can you make?” Nicky answered blushing.

“To start, how about this.” Chris answered.

Three more mirror images of Chris appear. Their taut muscles gleam in the low light,and 10 brilliant blue eyes fall on you.

“What do you say,Nicky? We can date on you. Treat you like the princess you are.” Chris answered. “What do you want?”

“I could go for a cup of tea.” Nicky answered.

Quickly, you’re settled in at a round table with Chris and all his clones in a lovely bedroom. A tea kettle is being passed around. Cucumber sandwiches rest on fine,china plates.

“This is delicious. What’s in the tea?” Nicky answered.

“It’s a mix of cloves and honey.” Chris answered.

“It’s wonderful.” Nicky answered.

“Pass the sugar,please?”Clone 1 answered.

“Of course,Chris .” Clone 2 answered.

“Thank you, Chris.” Clone 1 answered.

“Does anyone else ever get a horrible itch after shaving their face?” Clone 3 answered.

“That means you’re cutting it too close to the grain. Ease up, Chris.” Clone 4 answered chuckling.

The six of you chatter amiably until all the tea has been consumed.

*end of dream sequence *

When you wake up, you feel yourself blushing bright red.

“Well, that was the wildest dream yet...”

Saturday evening finds you buzzing with excitement as you prepare for your date.

“Is it silly to be this stoked about a double date? No. So what if Denise and Tim will be there, too? It’s still a date. It’s normal to be excited.”

Nicky rifles through her closet.

“Hmm. What should I wear for a museum date?”

Nicky smooth’s the dress over her hips and admires herself in the mirror.

“Pretty damn stylish if I say so myself.”

Nicky gives herself one last appraising look and heads out the door.

You arrive at the museum just as the sun sets to find Denise and Tim waiting outside.

“Ooh, look at you, sexy mama!” Denise answered. “Chris won’t know what hit him!”

“Oh, stop...”Nicky answered blushing.

“Haha!” Tim answered laughing.

Tim’s arm rests loosely around Denise’s waist, and you smile.

“Never in a million years did I expect to se Denise this happy with a normal guy. There’s no way Tim would never... break into a Arby’s drive-through. I get Steve was hungry, but it was 11AM. I still don’t understand why he couldn’t just use the front door.”

Your musings are cut short by Chris’s arrival. He greets you with a warm hug, that makes your heart flutter.

“You look beautiful, Nicky.” Chris answered.

“So do you.” Nicky answered. “I mean, thank you.”

“All right, come on! We only have three hours before the museum closes!” Denise answered with excitement.

“Denise....that sounds like plenty of time.” Nicky answered.

“For lesser souls, maybe!” Denise answered.

“Okay, okay!” Nicky answered smiling.

Denise grabs Tim’s hand, practically skipping as she drags him toward the entrance.

“I hope everyone’s excited for art lectures! I have some very serious thoughts about Millais’s brushwork!” Denise yelled from the distance.

Nicky grins at Tim.

“Are you excited for art lectures?” Nicky answered.

“Of course! A teacher should always be eager to learn!” Time answered.

Beside you, Chris chuckles. He moves closer to your side, his hand brushing deliberately against yours.

“He wants to hold my hand.”

You turn your palm out, smiling encouragingly at Chris as he entwines his fingers with yours.

“You are entirely too cute sometimes.” Nicky answered.

“Part of my overall charm, I hope.” Chris answered.

“Very much so.” Nicky answered.

You walk hand in hand through the gallery as Denise waxes poetic about composition, lighting, and negative space.

“She could put the museum tour guides out of a job!”

Gradually you split off into pairs, you and Chris continuing on as Tim listens raptly to Denise’s highlights on Thomas Lawrence. You set a leisurely pace, commenting now and then on pieces or details that stand out to you before slipping g back into comfortable silence.

“This is nice.”

You smile down at your joined hands. As if noticing your gaze, chis raises your hand to his lips, grinning when you blush.

“Yeah. He’s way too cute.”

A certain painting catches your eye, stopping you in your tracks.

“The Nightmare “ by Fuseli.”

The painting is one you’ve seen before, and it sends a prickle of unease down your spine.

“The Nightmare “ again?”

“Why is “The Nightmare” here? Isn’t it in your house?” Nicky answered with shock.

“Ah, well. The one hanging in my home is of course a print. This appears to be the original.” Chris answered.

You shudder.

“Is everything all right?” Chris answered with concern.

“No. It’s just this painting. It’s...unsettling.” Nicky answered. “It’s so uncomfortable to look at. Fuseli clearly had a deep understanding of dreams and the unconscious mind.”

“All great artist do, I think.” Chris answered.

“Hmmm. You may be right.” Nicky answered.

“What are you guys looking at?” Denise answered. “Oh , “The Nightmare.” Yeah,this one always gives me the creeps. I wonder what inspired Fuseli to paint it?”.

You shrug.

“In the old days, people thought dreams were the result of supernatural forces.” Nicky answered. “Now we know they’re just what your brain does while you’re sleeping.”

“Which is comforting and way less exciting at the same time!” Denise answered.

Denise, Tim, and Chris begin to move on, but your eyes are drawn once again, to “The Nightmare.” The fine hair on your arms stands on ends.

“Nicky? Is everything all right?” Chris answered with concern.

You swallow hard.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m just...A little spooked.” Nicky answered. “I guess “The Nightmare “ kind of got to me.”

“Do you think some fresh air might help?” Chris answered.

You nod, following him out onto the veranda.

The two of you sit down on a marble bench overlooking the ornamental gardens. You breathe in the crisp November air.

“It’s starting to feel like fall.” Nicky answered.

You shiver on cue.

“Okay, that one was because I was cold!” Nicky answered.

“That’s easily remedied.” Chris answered.

He holds out his arm to you.

“Chris is so precious...and I am so freaking cold!”

You slide under Chris’s arm, and he wraps you up in his warmth.

“Much better.” Nicky answered.

He kisses the top of your head.

“I’m really happy to be here tonight. With you.” Nicky answered.

“Me too.” Chris answered.

You gasp.

“I almost forgot! Look what I found in my storage room the other day!” Nicky squealed.

You pull out a photograph.

“This is my sister,Clare.” Nicky answered. “Wasn’t she...beautiful. She had the most soulful eyes.”

But Chris doesn’t speak. His eyes widen, and he pales.

“Chris? Are you okay?” Nicky answered with concern.

“Ah- yes. Yes, just... taken off- guard.” Chris answered. “Your sister strongly resembles a...very old friend.”

His tone tells you all you need to know about that friends fate.

“I’m sorry, Chris.” Nicky answered sadly.

He shakes his head.

“Don’t apologize. I’m the one who made the situation awkward.” Chris answered.

He gives your hand a gentle squeeze.

“Clare was lovely. And I’m honored that you shared this with me.” Chris answered.

He kisses your cheek just as Denise and Time bounding over.

“Emergency change of plans!” Denise yells. “The new molecular gastronomy place down the street is holding a soft opening tonight, and my friend can totally get us in!”

“Let’s go eat some food that doesn’t even look like food anymore!” Tim answered smiling.

“That sounds...cool,but, I’m not quite in the mood for it tonight. You guys go ahead, though.” Nicky answered.

“You’re sure?” Tim answered.

“Positive. You two have fun.” Nicky answered.

They bid you goodnight and scamper off, talking excitedly about foam. You smile at Chris.

“Well, what now? Should we...go back to my place?” Nicky answered. “Netflix and takeout sounds pretty great right about now.”

“I...need to get going,actually.” Chris answered. “I’m sorry to cut the evening short, but I have some work to attend to.”

“Oh. Okay.” Nicky answered sadly.

“Raincheck, thought?” Chris answered.

“Sure.” Nicky answered.

Chris rises from the bench, leaving you colder in his absence. You stand up after him.

“Nicky.” Chris answered.

“Yes?” Nicky answered.

He leans down, moving as if to kiss you. You stare at his lips.

“He’s going to kiss me.”

You take Chris in your arms, kissing him back softly.

“I had a good time tonight , Chris.” Nicky answered.

“So did I.” Chris answered.

He hugs you tightly, seemingly reluctant to let you go.

“I don’t want I let him go, either.”

You kiss him again, more deeply this time, earning a low moan that makes heat pool between your legs. You’re both breathing heavily when you finally part. You reach for him once more, but he steps away.

“Tempting as you are, Nicky, I really do have work to do.” Chris answered.

The saucy grin doesn’t quite reach his eyes, though.

“Well. Goodnight, then.” Nicky answered.

“Goodnight, Nicky. Sweet dreams.” Chris answered.

After spending the rest of the night in a sexually frustrates funk,however, you suspect your dreams will be far from sweet.

“I’m really not looking forward to whatever my brain comes up with tonight.”

“The Nightmare “ creeps into your mind again, and you shudder.

“Ugh. Here’s hoping I don’t dream at all.”

*dream sequence *

But dream you do.

You dream of Chris who treats you cruelly, his touch brushing your skin, his kisses leaving your lips bitten and bloody.

“Chris...you’re hurting me!” Nicky yelled.

“Am I?” Chris answered.

He laughs coldly, pinning you against his chest.

“But this is what you want, isn’t it?” Chris answered. “You’re just as weak as Clare was.”

You struggle, but he holds you fast.

“She was never meant to live in this world. You’ve tired to survive by denying what you are.” Chris answered.” How is that working out for you, Nicky? Always running away?”

With one last burst of energy you break free and escape into the darkness, his mocking laughter echoing after you.

“I need to get out of here! There! Maybe that’s a way out...”

You follow the light...into a place you,know all too well.

The creature crouches over the young woman, poised for the kill.

“I need to save her! “

You try to move, to fling yourself at him. But no matter how hard you struggle, your feet are rooted to the spot.

“No! Not this again!” Nicky yelled.

The creature lifts it misshapen head, staring directly into your eyes. It’s bares it teeth at you in a ghostly smile.

“Yes...” the creature answered.

It dissolves into the vampire from your nightmare, hovering above Clare’s bloodless corpse as it beckons you near.

“Yes, Nicky. Come closer.” The creature answered.

And though every instinct tells you to run, your feet begin moving toward him.

“That’s it. You are curious, aren’t you? Come, then. Look upon my face at last.” The creature answered.

He removes his cloak with a flourish...and your heart drops into your stomach.

“No....”Nicky yelled.

“Yes. You know now, don’t you? But then, perhaps you e always known.”Chris answered.

You shake your head furiously back away.

“No. I don’t believe it.” Nicky answered in shock.

“Oh, but you do believe it, Nicky. It makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?” Chris answered.

“No. Chris.... this isn’t you, I know it!” Nicky answered.”I’m just having a nightmare! You- the real you-you’d never hurt me. Chris is a good man!”

He throws his head back and laughs.

“You are a loyal little creature, aren’t you?” Chris answered. “Pity the one of your affection is so woefully undeserving.”

“No. No, this isn’t real.” Nicky answered. “It’s just a bad dream...”

“Ah, but it isn’t! “ Chris answered. “Search your feelings, Nicky. You know what I am. What I really am.”

You shake your head again, but something about his words rings true.

“Chris... recognized Clare...”

Horror chills you to the core, and Chris laughs. He closes the distance stern you. Before you can blink.

“Yes, you,know!” Chris answered with a devilishly smile. “ you,know I’m not human, and still you want me. How very deviant of you.”

He lifts a hand toward you.

“Fuck that! I’m going to... slap his hand away.”

You smack his hand sharply. He takes a step back, staring at his hand as though he’s never seen it before.

“You’re...fighting me?” Chris answered startled.”Here?”

A lascivious grin stretches over his features.

“Oh, you are an interesting creature, Nicky.” Chris answered. “But how much strength do you have left, I wonder?”

You’re in no mood to find out.

You turn your heel, sprinting into the blackness.

“You can’t run forever, Nicky!” Chris yelled.

*end of dream sequence *

You wake in a cold sweat, your heart pounding.

“It was a dream. It was just a dream.” Nicky answered.

The image of Clare’s lifeless body swims in front of your eyes.

“No wonder my brain shut me off my lucid dreams when she died. It must have been protecting itself. I need to clear my head.”

You sit up, selecting one of Clare’s old sketchbooks from the bedside table to distract yourself. But the sketchbook is Clare’s last before her death, and the images grow progressively darker and more twisted as you turn the pages.

“This.. isn’t working as well as I’d hoped. Imagine living with all of this emotional turmoil inside you. Poor Clare...”

You turn to the final sketch, and your blood runs cold. Staring up at you is a photorealistic portrait of a familiar face.

“Oh no...this is.. this is a drawing of Chris.”

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